A Brief Distraction

Today was one of those days when you wake up at 6:00 am like, oh man, this is AWESOME...I'm going to get SO MUCH ACCOMPLISHED today

And then you shuffle over to your computer and start parusing facebook and craigslist because...yanno...it's early and you're not ready to work yet.

And then, 2 hours later, your realize that you need to take a break to get some breakfast and to teach a lesson. And after the lesson you take the long way home because you're tired from getting up so early, so you need some D&D crack-coffee

And then you get home and you drink your coffee and it makes you jumpy and unfocused, so you end up having an in-depth conversation with your dog instead of writing that Executive Summary you promised to your client two days ago.

And then you crash from the D&D crack-coffee and realize that you're too tired to do work because you got up so early, so you drag yourself out on to the deck and sit for half an hour staring at the water, trying to summon up the energy to do...anything.

And now it's 12:00 pm.

Work total for the day: 17 minutes

FAIL.

The moral of this post is that getting up at 6:00 am is never, under any circumstances, a good idea. What seems like a good idea at the time ends up being an excuse for surfing the web, drinking sugary, caffeinated beverages, and anthropomorphizing every little ear twitch your dog makes until you're convinced that he's convinced that socialism might be the answer to the country's economic crisis.

And we all know that that's just silly...

I'm baaaacccckkk

Well that....was a bit longer than I intended.
Sad to say, this no blogging thing kind of suited me. I felt free. Like I was cutting class to go riding in a convertible with the top down and the wind in my hair and the sun on my face. For a while, I wasn't endlessly searching for material...cataloging every mildly amusing interaction for exploitation on my blog because once again I was out of real material. And I didn't use my blog as a way to avoid work. Well...not until today (Dear contractor: I'll finish it today. I promise)

So what happened, since the last time I blogged?
Not much, which is usually okay in my book. Lord knows I have the habits of an 80-year-old and don't like getting my routine all in a tizzy.

Work is going well. I haven't been forced to dance on a pole to pay the mortgage yet, so I consider that a win in my book.

Brian and I went backpacking and had some close encounters with black bear near our camp. Luckily, we were drunk (yes, we bring wine backpacking. doesn't everyone?), so my healthy fear of black bears was replaced with a "F*ck this guy. I want to go to sleep" kind of attitude. It worked. He moseyed along and I slept off the 1.5 litres of Cabernet Sauvignon in relative peace.

Milo ate more of the couch. I hate him.

The horse-thing is going well. Mikey is progressing with his training, although I'm learning that he's the klutziest horse to ever trip across this planet. I'm still teaching lessons. But after a long summer of beginners, I'm starting to hate the phrases keep your heels down and turn right...no, your OTHER right. These kids....oy...I think some of them are meant for group homes and jobs as greeters at Walmart.

I cut my hair. It's kind of what I do. One day I'm perusingn through a Victoria's Secret catalog and I'm all like, wow, I bet if I grow my hair out I'd look JUST LIKE these models. So I grow it out...except it looks more like a rat's nest than a seductively mussed coiff. And then I listen to Beyonce's All The Single Ladies and get all revved up on girl power, and I'm like screw men...I don't care if they prefer long hair. I want it off. So I cut it. [Repeat]

Did anybody notice it's fall now? That shit is awesome. But let's let McSweeney sum it up - he does a much better job than I could do anyway. CLICK THIS LINK for fall awesomeness (and a helluva lot of F-bombs)

It's nice to be back guys. Hope you all haven't forgotten me.