Friday, February 27, 2009

...uh...still broken

Day 5 of "Mangled Wrist Watch '09"
...nothing new to report except i've tried 2 different pain medications and they both made me puke. 6 days left 'till my surgery. morale was low until i got my new HP laptop in the mail this morning. mom brougth me tastycakes yesterday - awesomeness.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

it just keeps getting better

saw the doc today...gonna need surgery on this bad boy. what a nightmare this is proving to be. but as brian pointed out, on the bright side, the metal plate in my wrist will cause metal detectors to go off. cool!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Ah done broked it

well, i've gone and done did broke my right wrist snowboarding this weekend. can you believe it? ridiculous. so considering im typing with my left index finger, needless to say, blogging will be held to a minimum. sucks.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Runaway Train of Thought

Not feeling terribly inspired to write today, but dammit, it’s Friday and I’ve got a monster case of (medical) writer's block. If you want to know how many times my (medical) writer’s block has been cured at 4:14 on a Friday afternoon, the answer is a big, fat zero. So, lest I stare off into space for the next 46 minutes (revealing to the world that – gasp – writers can’t always write on cue, despite the fact that you’re paying them to sit their asses in office chairs for the majority of the day), I’ll blog instead. But be warned, this post is going to be completely train-of-thought, people, and this train is likely to be a runaway. Hold on to your hats…

So, what’s happening this weekend? Not much, but all good stuff. I’ll be racing home to squeeze in an hour of gym time before I accompany Brian to his soccer game to offer moral support and wince in sympathy every time someone gets elbowed in the face (I heard there was a brawl at the last game, and I’m kind of glad Brian and I missed it, but kind of disappointed too).Tomorrow we’ve got the morning together and then he’s got work from 3:00 to 10:00, during which time I’ll probably go to the gym and maybe do a load of laundry or two. Sunday, Brian took the day off so we could go skiing/snowboarding – likely our last trip of the season, as we’ve been trying to save money (or, at least, not spend so freaking much), and lift tickets are getting costly.

I’m looking forward to snowboarding, as always. I was kind of bummed how the last trip went south when I hit the deck pretty hard and mangled my wrist, although I did learn that getting drunk in a ski-lodge bar at 11:00 am is actually pretty fun. That might have been the earliest in the day that I ever got drunk, although I’m not sure: college was a long time ago and a lot of memories are pretty fuzzy thanks to my good old friend “alcohol.’

College was a crazy time. I can’t believe that I graduated 5 years ago. I look at college kids and they seem so freaking YOUNG, and I get confused because I thought college kids were my peers, but no, actually, I’m a lot older than most of them now, and that’s kind of sad. That said, I’m also a lot smarter than them (no college in the world can teach you what experience can), so maybe it’s a good trade-off?

Maybe it is, but I’m really starting to miss my 19-year old metabolism, I can tell you. Making healthy food choices is definitely not as much fun as eating pizza and beer till you’ve reached your capacity. These days, my capacity for food is rarely acted upon, which is probably better for my wallet and my BMI, but that sense of satisfaction that is achieved when you’ve eaten massive quantities of anything and everything that appealed to you and can’t possibly fit one more thing into your stomach is sorely missed. Aah, to be young again.

Speaking of being young, I had a pretty weird and vivid dream last night where I was walking through the house I grew up in, and it left me feeling nostalgic in a sad, wistful kind of way. When the home that you were born and raised in and occupied through your 21st year of life is suddenly ripped from you as your family structure disintegrates in front of your eyes, it’s pretty freaking traumatic. I’ve come to terms with most of my past, but realizing that I’ll never be able to go back to that house really catches me off guard sometimes. It’s like the house just disappeared (although in reality it was just bought by someone else), and sometimes I can feel my childhood disappearing in front of my eyes. It’s a weird feeling. Life is long, and I’ve still (hopefully) got a long way to go before I’m through here. What will be left of my childhood when I'm 80?

It’s kind of crazy when you think about it: everybody dies. Period. We spend our lives trying to avoid the inevitable, struggling to buy more time, and for what? I’d like to think that there’s a heaven, and I’d LOVE to believe in reincarnation (recycling of the soul is a really neat concept, and going “green” is totally in style right now). I mean, who wouldn’t like to think that when you die, you reconnect with your friends and family and loved ones in the next life? How comforting. But the atheist in me just can’t accept the fact that when you die, you do anything other than go to sleep and never wake up. Sometimes I really hate my inner-athiest. She’s such a bummer.

So, there you have it…a terribly long, rambling post on nothing specific, somehow making it’s way to the topic of death with a most depressing outcome. I’m a good time, aren’t I? Well, to cheer you up, here’s a Friday afternoon LOLcat, compliments of

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A Letter Involving Cake, With Love (And Open Threats)

Dear work,

Times are really tough, and in this economic climate, I fully understand that businesses are under more strain than ever before. I hear that you recently got some pretty bad news about the company that provides us with the vast majority of our business, and now our own financial standing is looking a little wobblier than it did two weeks ago. I totally sympathize with the fact it feels like the rug was pulled out beneath you – hey, we ALL feel a little uneasy – and I can’t imagine what kind of late-night meetings are going on in an attempt to keep gas in the well-oiled machine that I’m (relatively) happy to be a part of.

I want to make it clear that I really, really appreciate the fact that you’re trying to cut costs to save jobs. Nobody wants to be let go, and nobody wants to see their friends and coworkers let go either. I have no problem turning out the light when the editorial staff is out of the office. I have no problem using toilet paper of a lesser quality (although don’t think that just ‘cause I haven’t said anything I haven’t noticed. Trust me…the brand of TP that you recently switched to makes itself WELL KNOWN while in use. Let’s just say that cotton-soft it aint’). I have no problem fully committing myself to the job (between the hours of 8:45 and 5:00, obviously. No freebies here) and giving my absolute best if it’s going to help the company get through this rough patch. Hey, we’re all just trying to survive, right?

There is, however, one item that I am not willing, under any circumstances, to sacrifice:
Birthday cake

You may not be aware of it, but the monthly company birthday cake is largely held to be a beacon of light in our dark, monotone, procedure-laden world. You also may not be aware of it, but on more than one occasion, that cake was the motivating factor to get my butt out of bed and in to work instead of calling out sick. That cake is the heart and soul of the company; it makes friends out of enemies and pulls me and my coworkers back from death’s doorstep with the promise of sugary icing so sweet it'll make your teeth ache.

Let it be known that if you remove the monthly birthday cake, there WILL be repercussions. There are a few things in my life you shouldn’t mess with, and cake is one of them. Oh, I’ll cut you. I’ll cut you good.

That said, thanks again for not laying me or any of my coworkers off. As much as we grip about having to come in to work every day, those bi-monthly paychecks sure do come in handy with..oh…living and such.

Thanks again :-)
An employee who takes her baked goods very, VERY seriously and is not afraid to shank a bitch

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I...Still....Got The Blues

Day 4 of “Funk-Watch ’09”, and things are looking glum. Literally. I’m a gloomy gus. Actually, I’m more of a gloomy, irritable, mildly emotionally unstable gus, but whatever. I’ve gotten so far as to realize that my emotional malaise is primarily work-related, so at least that’s one piece of the puzzle that’s solved. However, that puzzle piece was no help to me this morning when I practically cried because I had to come in to work. I mean, nobody really WANTS to go to work, but crying about it is a little extreme, even for a PMSing closet-hippie like myself.

My immediate problem is that I’m not terribly busy at work right now. As much as I claim to be a lazy person, apparently I’m happiest at work when I’ve got a heavy workload. I guess this makes sense. When I’ve got tight deadlines at work, I’m usually too busy to think about all the reasons that I’m not cut out for a corporate desk job. But give me a few generously-space projects and no immediate deadlines, and my mind instantly wanders to all the things I’d rather be doing than sitting in front of a computer. Of course, this leads me to think about my more abstract, “big-picture’ problem, i.e., that I’m not really cut out for a corporate desk job. Sitting in front of a computer screen all day for me is kind of like wearing underwear that’s too small: even though it’s serving a very important purpose, it obviously doesn’t fit, and no matter how much you tug at it, it’s just not meant to be on your behind.

I think I have a work wedgie :-(

Tonight’s plans call for wine, rest, and some QT with my main squeeze. Brian always knows how to get me back on track, which is one of the many reasons why he’s the best thing that ever happened to me (and which is also why he brought me home flowers this morning. That guy, I’ll tell ya!) As I get older, I’ve learned that happiness, depression, anger, or any other emotion, is as much a choice as it is a state of being. Taking an active role in your current state-of-mind is one of the best ways to get where you want to be. For me, sometimes, it’s just figuring out what I need to do to get back to my happy place. And in this case, I think a little booze and snuggling is just what the doctor ordered.

Allright, people, I’ve got my Pino Noir, I’ve got my man, and I’m ready to be in a good place again. Let’s do this!!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I Got The Blues

Okay, I think I’m officially in a funk. I suspect its part post-vacation blues and part lack of outdoor activity, with a smidge of financial stress and a dash of PMS (which, I can tell you, does not help ANYTHING). When I was grumpy on Sunday, I wrote it off as empty-house syndrome, which crops up every time Brian works a 24-hour shift at the Fire Department. When I was grumpy on Monday, I did my best to ignore it, mainly because, well, I’m grumpy EVERY Monday. But this is the third day in a row I’ve been grumbling along, and I can no longer discount the fact that I’m not my usual cheerful (well, less-grumpy) self.

Being that there’s no obvious exterior reason for my miserable attitude, I have to assume that my interior parts need some adjusting. I’ve already started by eating healthier, which definitely fell by the way-side while I was living it up in Quebec and Tampa. I’ve also reinstated my exercise routine which, as much as I hate to admit, plays a big role in my mental well-being. I’ve been getting enough sleep, so that’s not the issue, and I’ve been squeezing in as much quality time with Brian as possible, which is never enough as I’d like but that's life, right?

So, really, what else can I do? Tonight I plan to hit the gym hard to exhaust my grumpiness into submission. I also plan on going food shopping, which I actually think is pretty fun and will result in an overall cost-savings that is sure to ease my financial worries a bit. And if that doesn’t do the trick, there’s always yoga, my dog, and a good old-fashioned veg-out in front of the TV. But somehow, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking it’s not going to be enough. There’s a bigger dissatisfaction that’s lurking inside me, and I really need to figure it out. Well, actually I've already figured it out. At this point, I'm just hoping it'll go away.

But maybe that’s just the PMS talking…what do I know?
All I know is that I’d better be in a hell of a lot better mood come tomorrow or drastic measures will be called for in the form of ice cream, chick flicks, booze, and a good cry. It’s never pretty getting yourself back on the right track, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and become a cliché. So here’s hoping I a different woman tomorrow, because lord knows today has been sacrificed to my inner-bitch. Let's just hope that she's satisfied.

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Day, In Haiku

The day, in haiku...

Driving in to work
Everyone has off but me
Anger simmers deep

Staring at the screen
I ponder C. difficile
Diarrhea sucks

Office goodies sit
Pastries tantalize my soul
Battles rage within

Lunchtime sun and air
Respite from my cubicle
The day is half done

Letters are jumbled
The afternoon grows heavy
It’s time for coffee

Five o’clock has come
We surge out like school children
Precious hours lost

Madmen in my lane
Make me swear and curse the gods
Use your blinker, ass

The fireplace burns
Warm hearth for my weary feet
Home is inner peace

Friday, February 13, 2009


I’m well aware that I’ve just had a fabulous vacation and a 12-day break from the office. But dammit, I’m TIRED! Ever since getting back from Tampa, I can’t seem to get enough sleep. My morning routine now includes numerous cups of bad office coffee, and my evenings are beginning to resemble a slow night at the geriatric center.
What gives?
Maybe I’m still recovering from my vacation, although I gotta tell ya, this vacation was pretty restful compared to my previous trips spent backpacking through the rainforest and such. Maybe it’s the lack of exercise, because my gym routine has kind of taken a back seat to vacation and business travel and visits to the court house. Maybe I’m knocked up (KIDDING!). Or maybe it’s as my coworker said (let’s see if I can get this right)… “the realization that my life does not consist of ice hotels and dog-sledding and other fun activities, but instead consists of the monotonous grind of the 9-5 employee.”
I think we have a winner.
Is there anything more depressing than coming back to work after a great vacation? Is there anything more depressing than sitting back down at your desk and thinking “a week ago, I was having the time of my life, and now I’m sitting in my office writing an executive summary of an Advisory Board”? I ask you, is there anything more depressing than realizing that A) you’ve used up half your vacation days for the year, B) it’s only February 13, and C) the next company holiday is almost 4 months away?
I know I should probably just be happy that I have a job in this economic climate, but it’s almost like, when you work a 9 to 5 job, you forget that life can be any other way. You stop thinking about anything but the routine, put your nose to the grindstone, and simply live for the weekends. But when you go on vacation, suddenly, you realize there’s a whole world that’s bustling around while you’re in your office. You get a taste of freedom from commutes and obligations and watching the clock tick by and you suddenly start living. It’s glorious. And then, just like that, it’s gone. You’re back to your routine, only now you’re thinking about that time when you didn’t have to come in to work. It’s almost more cruel to take a vacation and come back than to not take a vacation at all.
Aaah, the irony of it.
At any rate, I’m still tired. Time to get *another* cup of coffee and continue counting down the minutes to 5:00, when I can finally live again (if only for 2 days).
Man, I need a vacation.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I'm free at last

Well, I'm back in the office after a 5-day vacation, a 2-day meeting in Tampa and a quick trip to the Camden County Courthouse. I'm also extremely pleased to announce that after 11 months and the development of at least one ulcer...

I'm DIVORCED!!!!!!

Yesterday, at around 9:45am, the Camden County Court System granted me what I've been fighting so long and so hard for: a big, spankin', gold-emblemed notice of divorce.
Holy freakin' cow.
I don't think it's really sunk in yet that I'll never have to deal with that....person...again. But being able to say "I'm divorced" and not "I'm separated" makes a huge difference, and I'm slowly realizing that one of the ugliest chapters in my life is finally CLOSED. Well, put a padlock on that bad boy, because I'm on to greener pastures. I got my man, and I got my dog, and I got my cozy house on the creek. Life couldn't be sweeter.

....except, of course, for the mountain of work on my desk that's threatening to collapse and bury me alive, or at least steal my hard-earned lunch hours for the next weeks. I guess it's back to the coal mines for me. Ah goes on.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Trip Report: Quebec Awesomeness

Bonjour (yeah, I probably didn't spell that right). I'm back from one of the most amazing trips I've ever been on. Who knew that you only had to drive to Canada to experience some truly unique and wonderful things? Between the food, the people, and the activities, I have nothing but good things to say about our Neighbors Up North.

The Hotel de Glace was beyond description. Seriously. You remember when you were about 10 years old and it had just snowed a few feet (before global warming, when it actually snowed in NJ), and you plunged outside to build the most amazing snow fortress ever built? Remember how it looked in you head? Well, that's what the Hotel de Glace looked like. It was like my imaginary snow castle had become real, except it served alcohol and had hot tubs. Sweet. Of course, you know Brian and I are picture fanatics, so we had a bajillion pics of the place, but I'll try to post a few that'll give you a feel for the place:


Fire place in the Ice Bar

Us in the Ice Bar

The Ice Chapel

Entryway at night

The Hotel at night

Looking in to the Ice Bar

Having some drinks in ice glasses

Our room the first night had the bed on a second story!

The Ice Bar at night

Warming up

The hot tubs



In case you're wondering how difficult it is to spend the night in an ice hotel where the inside temperature hangs around 20 degrees F, I'll tell you that it's complicated, to say the least. We actually had to sit through a 45-minute demonstration to learn how to get in and out of the sleeping bags they provide for you. But pretty much the deal is that from 10:00am to 9:00pm the hotel is open to the public, including all rooms. You can spend the day walking around (it takes hours to really take your time and look at everything), drinking in the ice bar, or participating in one of the daytime activities they offer (we did dog-sledding, which I'll tell you about later). At 8:00pm, the rooms are closed to the public and the hot tubs open to guests. They have changing areas (with showers, bathrooms, etc) both at the main lodge and in the jacuzzi area. Brian and I spent our evenings between the hot tubs and the bar. At 9:00 they put the sleeping bags in the rooms and you can go to sleep whenever you want. You have to change into dry clothes and be completely dry when you get into your bag, or you'll freeze during the night. I'll admit, the cold was pretty intense. Good thing the bags are rated for -60 degrees, or you'd never make it. We heard a lot of people complaining in the morning about how it was too cold, and they couldn't move in the bags, but I think these people just didn't use their common sense when booking a night at the Ice Hotel - of COURSE it's cold! It's made of ICE! Brian and I followed the directions and slept pretty good the first night. By the second night, we had the system down and slept like babies. It was awesome

During the second day we went dogsledding. It was even cooler than it sounds. I figured they'd let you sit in the sled and drive you around, and then maybe let you try driving them in a confined area or something.
After a 10 minute crash course, they hand you your sled and team, and you're off into the wild Canadian outback for an hour and a half. It was one of the coolest things I've ever done (literally and figuratively. MAN it was cold, which explains our ninja gear in the pics). Brian and I took turns driving and had a blast, even when I accidentally steered us into a snowbank that came up to my neck (whoops, sorry about that babe). Here are some pics, and I'll try to post video too:

Getting ready to go (he was howling)

Brian managed to take this while I was driving

That's us!


Links to video:
Getting ready:

And of course, they had to show us the future team leaders:

When we were done, they took us into a yurt to warm up and drink hot chocolate (if you know about me and my yurt obsession, you'll appreciate this).

The dude with the red beard was our guide. He looks like he was practically born on a dogsled, so you can imagine our surprise when he said he'd only been doing it for a year, lol!

After our outdoor fun, you can imagine we were happy to drive to Quebec city to enjoy a little indoor living. We spent most of our time there walking around and taking pictures (because we're nerds like that). Here are a few good ones:

This place had the best pastries I ever ate:

We also went to the winter Carnival. It was way cool.

This guy sold snow-cooled maple taffy

The best part was the snow tubing:

Links to video:

The Tornado (same thing except you spin):

After 2 days in Quebec we headed home to pack and unwind. And look at pictures, of course! So, now I'm off to Tampa for two days (talk about a climate change), and to court on Wednesday to perhaps get a divorce. All good things! Stay tuned for good news (?)...