Doing the SHIT out of Halloween

I'm in a weird mood today.

First, I was feeling all "hahah funny" and was going to post about my halloween scare-venture. Then, for no reason at all, I started (well, continued) thinking about this infertility crap and I got sad.

Then I had breakfast.

Then I considered making a fort out of the couch cushions.

Then I remembered that Milo ate the couch cushions, so I went back online and here we are.



In summary, I'm all silly-sad-angry
(but not hungry. Thank god for small blessings)



I guess I can still blame it on the hormones, although these days they're coming in pill form instead of shot form, which is super cool and has increased my hydration level by, like, 30%. Except for that one hormone that comes in....suppository...form, and we don't really talk about THAT hormone.

Or I could blame it on the stress of finding out if the IVF "took" this Friday, which, BTW, is guarenteed to be the LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

Or I could just blame it on Milo, because honestly, what problems CAN'T be blamed on that asshole?



Regardless, I'm all wonked out and not good for much other than drinking decaf coffee (shank me) and rambling endlessly on this here blog.



The Halloween activity was decidedly NOT scary. The scariest thing about the whole night was being surrounded by awkward teenage girls in skinny jeans and Ugg boots, uncomfortably holding hands with gangly teenage boys desperately in need of haircuts.

For realz, you could not pay me enough to be a teenager again.


The rest of the attraction was a little hoaky and a LOT random (aliens carrying chainsaws?!? WHAT?!?!?), which was exacerbated when I got the giggles and couldn't stop laughing at the poor "actors" (and I use this term loosely) trying their best to jump out and frighten me.


I think I hurt their feelings.


But it's made me want to up the ante, and perhaps next year, you'll find me at the Bates Motel or some shit like that.
....maybe.



We also carved pumpkins.

And I don't want to brag, but it's entirely possible that I made the best jack-o-lantern ever carved...ever...in the history of jack-o-lanterns




I'm having that shit BRONZED, yo!



Halloween was also celebrated in the form of pumpkin chili and our annual reading of McSweeney's "It's Decorative Gourd Season, MotherFuckers"....and if you have not read this yet I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU to click on the link, because this is the funniest shit EVER WRITTEN about fall.


I'm having the entire thing put onto a cross-stitch sampler for my mother this year, FOR REALZ.


So yeah, we're doing the SHIT out of Halloween this year, and I'm loving every minute of it.

That's all for now. I'm running low on decaf, and I've got another pumpkin with my name on it.
Happy fall, fuck-faces

(it's a McSweeney's reference. If you didn't get it, then you didn't click on the link, and we can probably most likely not be friends anymore. Please turn in your friendship bracelet and the other half of my heart necklace)