Friday, November 12, 2010

Eggs. Not The Kind You Scramble.

I have bad eggs.

Not the kind you get in the store.
The kind your ovaries make (if you're a woman, that is. If you're a man and you're making bad eggs with your ovaries, I think you have bigger things to worry about than egg quality).

They don't tell you this shit BEFORE your IVF, mostly because A) the lab doesn't feel like giving a science lesson every time they call someone on the phone, and B) IVF usually works, so there'd be no point anyway.

However, for those with less-than-stellar quality embryos, it would kind of be nice to know this BEFORE we get our hopes up.

All I can say is thank sweet, candy-coated jesus for health insurance. Sure, the IFV failed due to poor egg quality, but imagine trying to wrap your head around a failed IVF cycle, bad eggs, AND a $30,000 hit to the bank account?

If there was EVER a time in your life when you'd want to punch babies, THAT WOULD BE IT, folks.

So my bad eggs put our chances for IVF success somewhere in the 25% to 35% range, instead of the 55% to 65% range we thought we were initially dealing with.

If I were an obese smoker, there would be an excellent chance that lifestyle changes could improve the quality of my embryos.
However, since I'm already relatively healthy, the doctor says there's not a heck of a lot I can do.

"Try accupuncture" he said, "There's no data that it helps, but it might make you feel better...feel like you're doing something to change your odds; maybe send some positive vibes out"

When your doctor starts talking about accupuncture and happy thoughts, I think it's safe to say that he's out of ideas.

So 2011, it seems, will be The Year of the IVF Cycle.
Our insurance covers up to 4 attempts (allow me to thank sweet, candy-coated jesus once again for health insurance), and my doctor seems to think we might need to use all 4 of them if we want a chance at a bambino.

So in case you were wondering....THAT is how eggs can ruin your late twenties.

Salmonella ain't got NOTHIN' on that shit.

We're taking the rest of the year off. To heal and come back stronger, I guess, but also because the holidays are crazy and the thought of taking all those shots and pills while simultaneously trying to find the perfect gift for everyone kind of makes me want to shank someone.

So I guess this blog will be getting a "fertility break" as well, and I can hardly imagine how grateful you all will be for not having to read my "poor me, I'm infertile, booo hoooo" blogs every week.
(I'm well aware that there are children starving and people battling cancer out there, so my dramatic performances over infertility can't have been much appreciated).

In other words, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for hanging in there with me. Those three of you who are still reading my blog despite all the dismal posts totally kick ass and I'll be sending each of you a muffin basket.



phairhead said...

big kiss to you!

Possum said...

Hey, you are so allowed to bitch and moan about whatever you want to!
I am glad that you are going to go easy on yourself for the rest of the year. Have some really good you-time and seriously.... have a look at the acupuncture options during this time...its good for overall balance in one's life.

Ed said...

That sucks.

A new doctor might help also.

Jamie said...

I like blueberry muffins, FYI.

But really, I want to see you in real life again so I can give you a big old hug!

And if that doesn't make you feel better then I'll give you some of my eggs. Lord knows I'm not using them!

Love and miss you! :)

The Job Snob said...

Its your blog. You're allowed to "complain" about whatever you want. Hang in there lady. Don't shank anyone just yet.

Emily said...

I bet if you ask a Chinese person about acupuncture they'll tell you it does a lot more than "make you feel good." It might be worth a try. There's some weird shit out there.

chrishm said...

Hi my name is Heather. My husband and I started trying to conceive three and a half years ago. We started at a clinic for the whole fertility thing close to our home. I was told I am perfectly healthy but just needed to gain weight... So I did. Tried comid, Femara, hmg, Hcg and still no success. I too was told to eliminate stress,and try Iui in conjunction with all the other treatments. Insurance paid for three Iui cycles but would not cover any more. Decided to try a fertility study at WSU that was being done for unexplained infertility. Still everything was told to me to be looking good and on the up and up. Three more Iui cycles and I was feeling really frustrated and confused when non of them worked. My husband and I two months ago signed up for the arc program where you can get 1 fresh and 1 frozen cycle for about 8 thousand. Was super excited went in on Monday for retrieval and had 17 mature follicles. Was told yesterday all of my eggs were dark and only two fertilized. I go in on Friday for my embryo transfer and am terrified to learn if they do not make it . I don't want to go though more shots and treatments from the beginning all over again. My husband keeps tellingly to stay positive but I am just broken inside over this. Maybe adoption is what my husband and I need to try. Our insurance will not cover anything else and I don't know what God's plan is for us. Worst part is that all my family and friends knew about our invitro plans this month and now I get to answer billions of questions from them on how things are going. Prayers that your baby plans work out successfully. I just wanted to let you know that I definitely feel your pain.