Tuesday, November 30, 2010

On Montreal, And Why You Shouldn't Rob Us (Unless You Need A Blender)

Brian says I'm not supposed to talk about our trip to Montreal.

"People will know that we're not home," he says, "and they could come and steal our stuff."

Well, to anyone who would like to break into our house, I'd like to say first that the back door is usually unlocked so please try that entrance before you bust up our door frame. The second thing I'd like to say is please, help yourself to our circa 1994 tube TV and outdated PC and the blender that my grandmother gave me for a college graduation gift. Hell, the newest thing in our house is the refrigerator and if you break into our house prepared to lift that 700-pound monstrosity, then I'm gonna go ahead and say that you've earned the right to take it.

Not like his opinion counts anyway...
He got a SEVERE concussion last weekend and hasn't recovered yet, so I'm writing off anything he says as the ramblings of a crazy man.

Poor guy.
I joke, but the doctor says you're only allowed one of those hits in a lifetime, and he just used his up. Of course, when you're watching your spouse vomit profusely in the ER while being unable to keep his eyes open, it doesn't take a doctor to tell you that his brains are a little scrambled.

(That flag football...it's a dangerous, dangerous sport)

So now I'm heading up to Montreal with my in-laws and a husband whose brains are over-easy and a little under-done...
In December, which means it'll be ghastly cold and on top of that, Brian can't ski or drink.
Which begs the question, What ELSE is there to do in Montreal in December besides ski and drink???

If you're expecting me to answer that question....I cannot - although I suspect it involves a great deal of family bonding time (sanz booze)

So yes, we're going to Montreal to NOT ski. OR drink.
Still interested in robbing our house?
I didn't think so
(your pity is palpable from here)


adrienzgirl said...

Damn woman! Scrambled eggs under done for a hubby? No booze to keep you warm in Montreal? Zoiks!

I'm getting my bloggy mojo back! Sorry I have been a little scarce! Have fun freezing your buns off!

Ed said...

You may be gone, but your funny is BACK!

Kim said...

Ha! You crack me up. The thing about the refrigerator killed me. If I lived near you, i'd just come leave a note on your fridge to let you know I was there.

Emily said...

Nobody says YOU can't drink. "Sorry hubs, but they're your parents. You can deal with them sober. I'm gonna hit the wine cellar, and hit it hard." That's all you need to say.

Hillary said...

what to do in Montreal if you can't ski or drink? eat poutine!

etoile said...

Montreal has a massive arts community. Go check out the theater or some lovely architecture :)
-a french stranger