As many of you know (isn’t it cute when I act like people actually read my blog?), Brian has been dangling a mystery birthday/Valentine’s day trip in front of me since August of last year. His original plan was to keep quiet up to the moment we left, even going so far as to pack for me. Luckily, since that time, he’s come to realize that it doesn’t matter HOW well you know your girlfriend, it’s always better that they pack for themselves, lest you forget something important (e.g., contacts, feminine products, razors, pantyhose…the list goes on and on).
Realizing this unfortunate fact of life, he then decided to reveal our destination and itinerary on my birthday, seeing as the trip IS a birthday present and all. And I really have to hand it to him – he ALMOST made it. Almost. I eventually got it out of him last night, after several glasses of wine and a lame attempt at seduction that turned into a wedgie fight (wine is fun).
Apparently, we’re going to Quebec! But that’s just the start of it.
Our first two nights will be spent in one of only two ice hotels in existence, the Hotel de Glace! Freaking incredible!!!! This place boasts an outdoor thermal spa, custom-carved rooms with one-of-a-kind ice artwork (of course, Brian managed to get us a suite, because he’s just that awesome), a restaurant, and even a bar where they serve your drinks in glasses made of ice! At night, you sleep on a bed of ice in a Big-Mamba-Jamba sleeping bag designed to withstand temperatures of -30 degrees F. And get this – during the day, we’ll be dog-sledding. DOG-SLEDDING! Who freaking does that?
After our stay in the ice hotel, we’ll be heading to Quebec to attend the city’s 400th Winter Festival. I’ve heard it’s off the hook. Lots of partying and ice sculptures and canoe races and the like. In between we’ll have a cozy hotel room and several great meals at Quebec’s finest restaurants.
Unbelievable. I’m speechless (well, not really, because I just wrote a blog about it, but you know what I mean).
I’d post pics of the hotel and festival, but the stupid internet filter here at work says that’s a no-no, so maybe tonight when I get home? Aaahh, who am I kidding. I never go on the computer at home. You’ll have to Google it or something.
And now? Well, since the trip is my Valentine ’s Day present, I need to do something for Valentine’s day that will truly express how grateful I am for this awesome guy who manages to put up with my shenanigans. Time to put the ole’ thinking cap on. Suggestions are appreciated…
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Snowboarder Extraordinarre
First of all, can I just say that the picture above is the most ridiculous thing I've ever created? This, ladies and gentlemen, is the extent of my "photoshop" skills. I know...there are no words...just look downward and shake your head in pity and shame. It's okay, I don't mind - I'm doing it for myself as I'm writing this.
Second of all, I'm not one to toot my own horn - well, who am I kidding, I LOVE to toot my own horn - but can I just take a second to say that I am completely in love with snowboarding, and I think it loves me back a little?
This past Sunday we were off to Blue Mountain for "Snowboarding Part 2: Twilight Edition" (no, not "teenage vampyre" twilight, actual "time-of-day" twilight). It was even more awesome than last time, and over the course of about 10 runs, I went from "able to heel-slide down the slope without falling down" to "kicking out that hind foot and carving the slope like a pro." At least, that's how it went in my mind, but I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend who also claims that I'm a quick study, as well as a powder hottie (thanks for the confidence boost, babe!)
Of course, faster speeds mean harder falls. Much harder. Not only does that result in sore bums and bruised knees, but - and maybe this is not a shared experience - when I'd hit the ground, all that snot that I'd been sniffing back would be expelled in a giant exhale...all over my face. The really interesting falls would result in a combination of snow being thrown in my face as my momentum hurled me down the mountain PLUS the aforementioned snot shower. I'd finally slide to a halt, my face covered in an icy mess of nose-juice and powder.
Love
I would then sit there, grinning like an idiot, attempting to wipe the snot/snow mixture from my face, absolutely convinced that heaven comes in the form of a snow-covered 45-degree pitch and a plank of polyethylene. My butt, on the other hand, is convinced that snowboarding is the devil's plaything and should be banned forever. Sometimes my butt and I disagree. It happens. Luckily, my butt has no veto rights. I have made an executive decision to declare myself (butt included) a snowboard junkie. Let the boarding begin! Hip Hip Hooray!
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Why did I just do that?
Bad ideas for a Thursday afternoon, in sequential order:
1. Going on the nj-horse.com forum on my lunch break
2. Clicking on the "Horses and Ponies for Sale/Lease" thread
3. Finding several attractive and affordable jumper prospects
4. Emailing the owner to see if the horses are still for sale
5. Starting a thread titled "Looking for work-for-board situation"
Commence daydreaming.
Now, someone please tell me why I just did that? Granted, owning a horse has been a life-long dream since I was about…um…7 years old. The problem with horseback riding is that it is, if you’ll pardon my French, undoubtedly the most f*cking expensive sport in the world. It’s one of the few sports where you have to continuously feed (and likewise clean up the excrement of) your equipment. Your equipment is also prone to various veterinary disasters including but not limited to colic, bacterial and viral infections, broken limbs, and numerous cutaneous assaults, (thanks to an inherent combination of curiosity and low IQ). Add on that the price of tack, blankets, grooming supplies etc., all tailored for a class of individuals with unlimited disposable income and a penchant for monogramming, and you’ve got a hobby that will suck the financial life out of you faster than you can say “Custom-made, hand-stitched, Italian leather bridle.”
Horseback riding is also beyond time-consuming, especially if you do it the right way. These guys need exercise a minimum of twice a week to keep them sane, but more like 3- or 4- times a week if you want to keep them athletic. Exercising them takes an hour. Grooming and tacking them up takes half an hour. Untacking them and putting them out takes half an hour. And then there’s clean-up and commute time. We’re talking several hours a day, 2 to 5 days a week. Once you own a horse, you’re a horse-owner. That’s it. There’s very little time to be an author or a fitness fanatic or a violinist or anything else that might take up significant time to achieve, at least for us working folk. In other words, it's one of the biggest commitments you'll make in your life, and it's to a 1,000 lb partner that usually doesn't have the sense god gave a doorknob.
So if this entry sounds like a giant argument for why NOT to buy a horse…well…that’s the point of it. I’m trying to talk myself out of buying a horse by listing the various reasons that I could find myself eyeball-deep in shit, both literally and metaphorically speaking. But the problem with this approach is that I’ve been reciting this list in my head for years now, and every time I do it I find myself to be less convincing.
There will always be a myriad of reasons why I shouldn’t buy a horse. There will always be other places where the money would be better off going, and there will always be other things in life that are more worthy of my time. And yet, day after day, week after week, month after month, I dream of breaking and training and riding on my own terms – not on the terms of some client who is paying me, and not on the terms of some owner who is throwing me a pity ride. So who knows what will happen. Will there always be a reason to not buy a horse? Absolutely. But sometimes you gotta ignore your head and go with your heart. And my heart is telling me to get my butt back in the saddle – MY saddle - where it belongs.
Horseback riding is also beyond time-consuming, especially if you do it the right way. These guys need exercise a minimum of twice a week to keep them sane, but more like 3- or 4- times a week if you want to keep them athletic. Exercising them takes an hour. Grooming and tacking them up takes half an hour. Untacking them and putting them out takes half an hour. And then there’s clean-up and commute time. We’re talking several hours a day, 2 to 5 days a week. Once you own a horse, you’re a horse-owner. That’s it. There’s very little time to be an author or a fitness fanatic or a violinist or anything else that might take up significant time to achieve, at least for us working folk. In other words, it's one of the biggest commitments you'll make in your life, and it's to a 1,000 lb partner that usually doesn't have the sense god gave a doorknob.
So if this entry sounds like a giant argument for why NOT to buy a horse…well…that’s the point of it. I’m trying to talk myself out of buying a horse by listing the various reasons that I could find myself eyeball-deep in shit, both literally and metaphorically speaking. But the problem with this approach is that I’ve been reciting this list in my head for years now, and every time I do it I find myself to be less convincing.
There will always be a myriad of reasons why I shouldn’t buy a horse. There will always be other places where the money would be better off going, and there will always be other things in life that are more worthy of my time. And yet, day after day, week after week, month after month, I dream of breaking and training and riding on my own terms – not on the terms of some client who is paying me, and not on the terms of some owner who is throwing me a pity ride. So who knows what will happen. Will there always be a reason to not buy a horse? Absolutely. But sometimes you gotta ignore your head and go with your heart. And my heart is telling me to get my butt back in the saddle – MY saddle - where it belongs.
EDITORS NOTE:
THIS is one of the horses that's for sale. 4 years old, and drop dead GORGEOUS. Priced at $2200. Repeat after me....I don't need a horse...I don't need a horse...I don't need a horse...
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Tuesday Funny
I came across this nonsensical-yet-somehow-hilarious comic several months ago and have been a reader ever since. Think Cyanide and Happiness, but more random (if that's possible).
Shanking will always hold a special place in my heart <3
Monday, January 5, 2009
Owning the Mountain
Okay, well, I may not have "owned" the mountain, exactly, but I did rent it for a few hours and boy did it feel good!!!!!
When I was 14 I went on a several-day snowboarding trip with a well-to-do friend and her family (you tend to meet those people when you're immersed in the horse world). Now, I don't remember much about the trip, but I do remember this:
The first time down the mountain, I went down on my butt. I couldn't stand on the damn thing, let alone commense any sort of snowboarding-like activity. I fell and I fell and I fell. And then when I fell again I realized I was only half way down to the bottom, and I was exceedingly unhappy, not to mention in a lot of pain. When i finally reached the bottom, having aborted the board and choosing instead to walk the last 50 yards, my friend convinced me to go back up. To this day, I don't know how she managed it, because I was beyond frustrated with the sport, and more than ready to call it a day. But up we went to the top of the slope, and set off for another painful descent. I stood up and swung my arms to steady myself. And then....it clicked. I wasn't freestyling or anything, but I could stay up. And I could move. And I could steer, just a little bit. And I was in love. Snowboarding just felt...right.
But that love was short-lived. I never went back, although I had dreams of zooming down snowy peaks on a pretty regular basis. That is - I never went back...until this weekend. Thanks to the generous gifts I received at Christmas, I needed only a snowboard and boots and I was ready to roll. Would I remember what to do? Could one possibly pick up where one left off after a 14-year hiatus? I purchased a snowboarding lesson, but it didn't start for an hour. So....only one way to find out. Up we went to the top of the bunny slope, where I tumbled from the ski lift, strapped myself into my board, and stood up to see what would happen. A few minutes later, I was heel sliding with the best of them. Then I was shifting my weight to the front of the board to glide swiftly for a few seconds before halting my descent with another heel slide. Glide, arrest, glide, arrest, I made my way to the bottom of the slope. I was grinning so hard my cheeks hurt. I was in love again!
Over the course of the afternoon, I improved slightly to incorporate occasonal toe turns and slides (a maneuver that scares the ba-jesus out of me because I have to turn my back to the downhill slope). I tried the "alternate" bunny slope, and even attempted a blue course - the next level up to the bunny slope. Granted, by then I was so completely wiped out from my lingering cold that I focused on just getting down rather than challenging myself, but I did it nonetheless. Again, I wasn't freestyling or breaking the sound barrier, but I was happier than a pig in shit. It just felt...right.
I hope to go back many more times before this season is through. Brian is an avid skiier and is thrilled that I'm enjoying being on the mountain as much as he does. And me? Well, I think I just found another way to enjoy the great outdoors.
Up next is rock climbing. I have the shoes, and I have the gift certificates - let's see if it suites me as well as the powder does:-)
Friday, January 2, 2009
Starting 2009 Off With A (Cliche) Bang
As a rule, I don’t believe in “New Year’s Resolutions.” Personally, I think that self-improvement should be an ongoing activity, not something to be highlighted once a year and forgotten as soon as that box of Valentine’s Day chocolate rolls around. However, I DO believe that the new year is a great time to reflect on the current status of your body, mind and soul, and make tune-ups where appropriate. The following actions have fallen a bit by the wayside in past months, and I will take this moment to highlight them, with the hopes of re-establishing some habits that are sure to improve my overall well-being.
1. Playing outside, despite the conditions. Although I cringe to write this, I fear I’ve become 
more of a fair-weather outdoor activist than I’d like to admit. Despite the fact that my tent, sleeping bag, and gear are designated for “3-season” use, the coldest temperature encountered on my most recent backpacking trip was a balmy 65, and yes, I was in the (general) northeast area of the country. Maybe it’s the new fireplace we had inserted, or maybe it’s the lull of a temperpedic bed covered in a down comforter, but whatever the reason, my personal “call of the wild” has been replaced by the “call of all things toasty and warm.” Even the incidence of Drunk Canoeing, a popular pastime at our household, has decreased considerably. Sadness. Luckily, the gifts I received at Christmas included an MP3 player, a plethora of ski-gear and long underwear, and rock climbing shoes and lessons; all items that encourage one to embrace the outdoors on a year-round basis. My desire to get outdoors has suddenly increased tremendously, and for my own health, as well as the health of those around me, I’d better get my butt back where it belongs…on the side of a mountain.
more of a fair-weather outdoor activist than I’d like to admit. Despite the fact that my tent, sleeping bag, and gear are designated for “3-season” use, the coldest temperature encountered on my most recent backpacking trip was a balmy 65, and yes, I was in the (general) northeast area of the country. Maybe it’s the new fireplace we had inserted, or maybe it’s the lull of a temperpedic bed covered in a down comforter, but whatever the reason, my personal “call of the wild” has been replaced by the “call of all things toasty and warm.” Even the incidence of Drunk Canoeing, a popular pastime at our household, has decreased considerably. Sadness. Luckily, the gifts I received at Christmas included an MP3 player, a plethora of ski-gear and long underwear, and rock climbing shoes and lessons; all items that encourage one to embrace the outdoors on a year-round basis. My desire to get outdoors has suddenly increased tremendously, and for my own health, as well as the health of those around me, I’d better get my butt back where it belongs…on the side of a mountain.2. Flossing. I know I should floss more. It keeps my teeth cavity-free, makes my gums happy,
and takes all of 60 seconds to perform, but for some reason, my little round container of floss is getting dust on it. I guess it’s hard to floss when you’re sleepy, and since I brush my teeth in a constant state of sleepiness (early in the morning or before bed), it sits, collecting dust. This is unacceptable. My gums are sad.
and takes all of 60 seconds to perform, but for some reason, my little round container of floss is getting dust on it. I guess it’s hard to floss when you’re sleepy, and since I brush my teeth in a constant state of sleepiness (early in the morning or before bed), it sits, collecting dust. This is unacceptable. My gums are sad.3. Cooking and baking. The act is fraught with peril, and the results are unpredictable at best. So
is it any wonder that dinner is more and more consisting of cereal, PB&J, canned soup, and take-out? But like many things in life, irony is that the more you cook and bake, the less perilous and more predictable (and enjoyable) it becomes. So I shall restock my pantry with fresh ingredients from the store and dive anew into the world of controlled heat and chemical reactions with the aim of creating delicious, wholesome, well-balanced meals. An of course, if a few desserts get thrown into the mix (pardon the pun), I suppose I’ll just have to eat those as well. Again, Father Christmas has generously provided me with the tools I need – a brand-spankin-new bread machine. Mmmmmm….fresh warm bread…..*drool
is it any wonder that dinner is more and more consisting of cereal, PB&J, canned soup, and take-out? But like many things in life, irony is that the more you cook and bake, the less perilous and more predictable (and enjoyable) it becomes. So I shall restock my pantry with fresh ingredients from the store and dive anew into the world of controlled heat and chemical reactions with the aim of creating delicious, wholesome, well-balanced meals. An of course, if a few desserts get thrown into the mix (pardon the pun), I suppose I’ll just have to eat those as well. Again, Father Christmas has generously provided me with the tools I need – a brand-spankin-new bread machine. Mmmmmm….fresh warm bread…..*drool4. Writing that damn book. I keep saying to myself, “as soon as I buy a laptop, I’m going to begin
writing my book.” But financing a divorce – especially one that seems to get messier by the day – has left little cash left over for personal, mobile computers. At the rate I’m going, buying a laptop is probably going to make my 2010 list (if I’m lucky). Lest I procrastinate another year, I’m going to have to start writing my book, laptop be damned. I’ve got a laptop at work, and a somewhat functional PC at home, and that’s just going to have to do. And on that note…
writing my book.” But financing a divorce – especially one that seems to get messier by the day – has left little cash left over for personal, mobile computers. At the rate I’m going, buying a laptop is probably going to make my 2010 list (if I’m lucky). Lest I procrastinate another year, I’m going to have to start writing my book, laptop be damned. I’ve got a laptop at work, and a somewhat functional PC at home, and that’s just going to have to do. And on that note…5. Getting that damn tattoo. I’ve spent a good 6 months envisioning my tattoo in my head and
I’m still pretty happy with it. Sure, I could spend another year contemplating the design and worrying that I’m making a mistake that will haunt me for a lifetime, but that’s not really in the spirit of getting a tattoo, is it? I’m not suggesting drinking six shots of tequila and getting a loony tunes character tattooed on your ass or anything, but I think you eventually reach a point where you have to stop worrying about how you’ll feel 50 years from now and just DO IT ALREADY. Hey, that’s what youth is for, right? But at the advice of Aunt Sarah, I’ll definitely be sure to put it on a place that won’t get “gross and saggy.” And no, it's not the tattoo in the picture (althought that tattoo is pretty bad-ass)
I’m sure there is more I could do to improve my life. I am undoubtedly a “work in progress” and hope to be so until the day I die. But I figure this is a good start. I mean, what could be better than fresh air, healthy food, self-expression, and good oral hygiene? Well, I’m off to start improving myself via the above activities….well, actually, I’m off to continue writing this newsletter on cytomegalovirus. But AFTER THAT, I’m off to improve myself.
I’m still pretty happy with it. Sure, I could spend another year contemplating the design and worrying that I’m making a mistake that will haunt me for a lifetime, but that’s not really in the spirit of getting a tattoo, is it? I’m not suggesting drinking six shots of tequila and getting a loony tunes character tattooed on your ass or anything, but I think you eventually reach a point where you have to stop worrying about how you’ll feel 50 years from now and just DO IT ALREADY. Hey, that’s what youth is for, right? But at the advice of Aunt Sarah, I’ll definitely be sure to put it on a place that won’t get “gross and saggy.” And no, it's not the tattoo in the picture (althought that tattoo is pretty bad-ass)I’m sure there is more I could do to improve my life. I am undoubtedly a “work in progress” and hope to be so until the day I die. But I figure this is a good start. I mean, what could be better than fresh air, healthy food, self-expression, and good oral hygiene? Well, I’m off to start improving myself via the above activities….well, actually, I’m off to continue writing this newsletter on cytomegalovirus. But AFTER THAT, I’m off to improve myself.
2009…GO!
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