The aim of this blog is to entertain you. And since I have neither the time, energy, or creativity to entertain you today (well, I guess I have the time and energy, but inspiration is lacking), I leave you with this HILAROUS Craigslist posting of someone selling a motorcycle.
How could someone selling a motorcycle be funny, you ask? Read on, dear reader...
Motorcycle for sale:
There comes a point in every mans life where he feels the need to pass down some history or perhaps a legacy, this time is now. For the low price of $700 you too may become a bad ass. This motorcycle is not just a way of transportation, it is a way of life.
The side of the gas tank says Yamaha which loosely translates to "Kick Ass Stealth Ninja Motorcycle". I stole this motorcycle from Chuck Noris after I gave him a swift roundhouse kick to the face. I also broke off his arm and signed the title with it to my name from him so it is all legit and legally mine to sell now.
Some of the lens covers on the turn signals are broken but if you think that stops me from turning you are sadly mistaken. The first rule I learned in the Mount Tokachi Ninja Training Camp was never tell your enemy what direction you intend to go. I have found this to be a excellent creed or motto to live life by.
I will not admit to how many of the miles have been used for ninja missions however I can tell you that all of the 4693 miles are actual road miles.
There are a few rusted parts on this bike, but that only shows everybody how bad ass you are and that if they were to question you they could be killed instantly. Most of the parts could be replaced with non rusty parts if you wanted to blend in to the common mortal and practice stealth skills by hiding in plain sight.
This motorcycle has 4 speeds in the transmission and all of them are completely capable of causing instant death. I have known the common man to reach speeds of 70 mph I will not comment on the top speed that a skilled ninja rider may accomplish, this you shall find on your own.
The gas cap on this motorcycle is locked by key, that tells possible gas thief's to screw off unless they are prepared to deal with a ninja ass kicking right to the face.
If you are still uncertain of how bad ass this actually is you wont need to look further than the front fender complete with scull and cross bones, the graphics tell sissy gutless men to take off or be prepared for punches of lightning to pour down upon them.
If you email me asking about being "firm" on the price I will tell you right now that I am NOT. $700 is only my starting price, you may want to pay me more after you would see it in person. If you think you can email me and ask me to sell if for less you could just as well save me the effort and punch yourself in the balls because that is what I might do and you are most likely a sissy and not worthy of this motorcycle.
If you are from Africa and try to scam me do not waste my time because I will swim across the ocean and find you in your dirty hut and judo chop your face with an ultimate punch right to the face.
I may email you more pictures if you need to see more. Ninja fighting weapons are not included.
1 comment:
awesomely hilarious. I feel we should meet this person and perhaps buy his motorcycle, but mostly meet him.
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