Well, I guess I could say that my immune system just ruined my day, but I’d rather blame the apple. Lord knows, if I start “talking smack” about my immune system, it’ll probably avenge itself by giving me a nasty upper respiratory infection or something. So, yeah, the above apple just ruined my day. All because I tried to eat it. All because I thought I had outgrown my apple allergy, just as I have outgrown practically every other food allergy I had as a child. All because I was trying to be healthy and I was at Panera and when they asked me if I would like chips or an apple, I said to myself, “self, let’s pull our shit together and try eating something healthy for a change.” Myself agreed. We purchased the apple. We ate the apple (yes, I now refer to myself and I as “we”)
Allergic pandemonium ensues.
Honestly, the first few bites were awesome, but then again, I hadn’t bitten into an apple in, like, 10 years, so it was going to be good regardless of the outcome. So I was crunching and smacking and smiling…when my body revolted. “Son of a…”
I slowly put the apple down and waited while tons of immunoglobulins and whatnot wreaked havoc on my system.
Below is an artist’s rendition of the alleged "apple":
And here's where the "apple" ended up:
So I guess its back to my non-apple lifestyle. What a stupid allergy. But hey, it could be worse – I could be allergic to peanuts, and then I wouldn’t be able to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And then I’d have no reason to live.
Peanut, anyone?
2 comments:
And I thought my intolerance of gluten was strange. Guess peculiar allergies run in La Famiglia. Lucky us!
~Allison
You should have seen me when I was allergic to peaches, apricots, plums, oranges, carrots, strawberries, cashews, and pistacios too. Fruit salads were a real bummer...lol!
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