Is It Date Rape If You're Married?

It's Memoir Monday over at Travis's place, and this picture pretty much sums up our lives right now:

Both in the metaphorical sense - as in, the cat represents the crushing weight of financial strain and life uncertainty, and the handsome, possibly-dead man represents our failing struggle to cope with such an oppressing burden.

And in the literal sense - as in, we don't really get out much.

And no, if anybody is wondering, I did not slip my husband a roofie, although that guy had enough Nyquil in him to take down a bull elephant and chances are, I could have probably had my way with him.

But who are we kidding?
You can't rape the willing.

Moving on....

I've been finding myself in a bit of a quandry lately.
As I've been sitting here, struggling to make ends meet while searching for freelance gigs and filling my spare time with various hobbies and housework, I can't help but think I'm squandering an enormous opportunity.

I mean, how many times have you ever said to yourself, "If it wasn't for my job I would..."

Me? I must have said it a million times. And that elipsis was followed by a million wonderful things, like moving to a foreign country or hiking the Appalachian Trail or opening a Cold Stone franchise and eating myself into a diabetic coma.
Whatever.
The point is, time after time, I felt that the only thing holding me back from accomplishing a truly great existance was my job.

And now that my job is no longer in the picture?
I seem to spend a lot of time folding boxer shorts and hanging out on Facebook. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing and lord knows I like handling my husband's underwear (really, Lily? You're REALLY going to write that on your blog?!?), but it's isn't exactly what I would call an epic existance.

And lately? I can't help feeling like I have the drive and motivation to do something truly great, and instead of wasting my time chasing gigs to do writing that I don't even really like that much, maybe I should take this golden opportunity and do something thats worth putting on a tombstone.

Of course, there are other significant hurdles. Like money, for one thing, and the fact that Brian and I practically have a meltdown if we don't get enough quality time with each other. And of course, there is the big question of WHAT WILL I DO?

I mean, I have some ideas, but most of them require either money or significant time away from my spouse.

But I can tell you this. Something - SOMETHING - is bubbling inside of me. And for once, it's not gas.

Whether I like it or not, I have been handed a great gift.

And now it seems like the only questions left is, what will I do with it?