Day 4 of “Funk-Watch ’09”, and things are looking glum. Literally. I’m a gloomy gus. Actually, I’m more of a gloomy, irritable, mildly emotionally unstable gus, but whatever. I’ve gotten so far as to realize that my emotional malaise is primarily work-related, so at least that’s one piece of the puzzle that’s solved. However, that puzzle piece was no help to me this morning when I practically cried because I had to come in to work. I mean, nobody really WANTS to go to work, but crying about it is a little extreme, even for a PMSing closet-hippie like myself.
My immediate problem is that I’m not terribly busy at work right now. As much as I claim to be a lazy person, apparently I’m happiest at work when I’ve got a heavy workload. I guess this makes sense. When I’ve got tight deadlines at work, I’m usually too busy to think about all the reasons that I’m not cut out for a corporate desk job. But give me a few generously-space projects and no immediate deadlines, and my mind instantly wanders to all the things I’d rather be doing than sitting in front of a computer. Of course, this leads me to think about my more abstract, “big-picture’ problem, i.e., that I’m not really cut out for a corporate desk job. Sitting in front of a computer screen all day for me is kind of like wearing underwear that’s too small: even though it’s serving a very important purpose, it obviously doesn’t fit, and no matter how much you tug at it, it’s just not meant to be on your behind.
I think I have a work wedgie :-(
Tonight’s plans call for wine, rest, and some QT with my main squeeze. Brian always knows how to get me back on track, which is one of the many reasons why he’s the best thing that ever happened to me (and which is also why he brought me home flowers this morning. That guy, I’ll tell ya!) As I get older, I’ve learned that happiness, depression, anger, or any other emotion, is as much a choice as it is a state of being. Taking an active role in your current state-of-mind is one of the best ways to get where you want to be. For me, sometimes, it’s just figuring out what I need to do to get back to my happy place. And in this case, I think a little booze and snuggling is just what the doctor ordered.
Allright, people, I’ve got my Pino Noir, I’ve got my man, and I’m ready to be in a good place again. Let’s do this!!!
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