Runaway Train of Thought

Not feeling terribly inspired to write today, but dammit, it’s Friday and I’ve got a monster case of (medical) writer's block. If you want to know how many times my (medical) writer’s block has been cured at 4:14 on a Friday afternoon, the answer is a big, fat zero. So, lest I stare off into space for the next 46 minutes (revealing to the world that – gasp – writers can’t always write on cue, despite the fact that you’re paying them to sit their asses in office chairs for the majority of the day), I’ll blog instead. But be warned, this post is going to be completely train-of-thought, people, and this train is likely to be a runaway. Hold on to your hats…

So, what’s happening this weekend? Not much, but all good stuff. I’ll be racing home to squeeze in an hour of gym time before I accompany Brian to his soccer game to offer moral support and wince in sympathy every time someone gets elbowed in the face (I heard there was a brawl at the last game, and I’m kind of glad Brian and I missed it, but kind of disappointed too).Tomorrow we’ve got the morning together and then he’s got work from 3:00 to 10:00, during which time I’ll probably go to the gym and maybe do a load of laundry or two. Sunday, Brian took the day off so we could go skiing/snowboarding – likely our last trip of the season, as we’ve been trying to save money (or, at least, not spend so freaking much), and lift tickets are getting costly.

I’m looking forward to snowboarding, as always. I was kind of bummed how the last trip went south when I hit the deck pretty hard and mangled my wrist, although I did learn that getting drunk in a ski-lodge bar at 11:00 am is actually pretty fun. That might have been the earliest in the day that I ever got drunk, although I’m not sure: college was a long time ago and a lot of memories are pretty fuzzy thanks to my good old friend “alcohol.’

College was a crazy time. I can’t believe that I graduated 5 years ago. I look at college kids and they seem so freaking YOUNG, and I get confused because I thought college kids were my peers, but no, actually, I’m a lot older than most of them now, and that’s kind of sad. That said, I’m also a lot smarter than them (no college in the world can teach you what experience can), so maybe it’s a good trade-off?

Maybe it is, but I’m really starting to miss my 19-year old metabolism, I can tell you. Making healthy food choices is definitely not as much fun as eating pizza and beer till you’ve reached your capacity. These days, my capacity for food is rarely acted upon, which is probably better for my wallet and my BMI, but that sense of satisfaction that is achieved when you’ve eaten massive quantities of anything and everything that appealed to you and can’t possibly fit one more thing into your stomach is sorely missed. Aah, to be young again.

Speaking of being young, I had a pretty weird and vivid dream last night where I was walking through the house I grew up in, and it left me feeling nostalgic in a sad, wistful kind of way. When the home that you were born and raised in and occupied through your 21st year of life is suddenly ripped from you as your family structure disintegrates in front of your eyes, it’s pretty freaking traumatic. I’ve come to terms with most of my past, but realizing that I’ll never be able to go back to that house really catches me off guard sometimes. It’s like the house just disappeared (although in reality it was just bought by someone else), and sometimes I can feel my childhood disappearing in front of my eyes. It’s a weird feeling. Life is long, and I’ve still (hopefully) got a long way to go before I’m through here. What will be left of my childhood when I'm 80?

It’s kind of crazy when you think about it: everybody dies. Period. We spend our lives trying to avoid the inevitable, struggling to buy more time, and for what? I’d like to think that there’s a heaven, and I’d LOVE to believe in reincarnation (recycling of the soul is a really neat concept, and going “green” is totally in style right now). I mean, who wouldn’t like to think that when you die, you reconnect with your friends and family and loved ones in the next life? How comforting. But the atheist in me just can’t accept the fact that when you die, you do anything other than go to sleep and never wake up. Sometimes I really hate my inner-athiest. She’s such a bummer.

So, there you have it…a terribly long, rambling post on nothing specific, somehow making it’s way to the topic of death with a most depressing outcome. I’m a good time, aren’t I? Well, to cheer you up, here’s a Friday afternoon LOLcat, compliments of icanhascheezburger.com.

Have a great weekend, everybody!