I almost left this blog a "Dear John" letter.
I really did.
My life has been crazy lately. Good crazy. AND bad crazy. Just...crazy. And I was seeing no end in sight - no time in the upcoming weeks where I would sit back and say, aah, I think I'll write a blog because I have nothing else to do with my time.
So I thought about writing a "goodbye for now" kind of post. You know...the kind where I say OMG thank you for all the wonderful times and then ask if I could interest you all in a long drive in the country, and let you guys out of the car and throw a ball so you're distracted and don't notice me getting back into the car and speeding off into the night.
And then I found a knife in my purse.
Which - admittedly - is odd.
I mean...I don't remember putting a knife in my purse. But then again, just because I didn't remember putting the smoke detector in the freezer last month doesn't mean it didn't happen.
So I was cleaning out my purse and I found the knife at the bottom, underneath layers of receipts and miscellaneous candy wrappers and okay, I might have Alzheimers.
No biggie. It happens.
But then, I went to put it away....
...and it didn't match the other knives in the block.
(The handle was thicker, heavier, and a different shade of black [TWSS])
But seriously...all joking aside... NOTHING escalates things from "quirky" to "ominous" faster than finding a knife in your purse that doesn't belong to you.
I can only assume that terrorists slipped it into my purse when I wasn't looking.
Or the government.
Or my husband, who is trying to frame me for the murder of his mistress.
Either way, I smell a Lifetime movie deal.
But the knife.
Yeah.
I still have no idea whose it is or why it was in my purse.
But on the good side, it reminded me why its a good thing to have a blog.
Because if for no other reason, it's a great way to create multiple witnesses when one finds a potential murder weapon in one's handbag.
(and yeah, I might have missed you guys. A little bit)
(Okay, a lottle bit)
10 comments:
Nothing like a good mystery to get the synapses firing. Good luck, Nancy Drew. Or rather, Nancy Drew's slightly more apathetic, Tastykake loving, blogger sister -
Tastykake... Mystery... Tastykake?... Mystery...? Tastykake.
Then blog mystery while eating said tastykake. Everyone wins.
Scary.
And yet, if you read this post aloud while holding your tongue between you thumb and index finger...HHILARIOUS.
You have got to be kidding! Now I'm really scared...and that takes a lot!
So Lily,
I am concerned about how much alcohol one must consume on a semi-regular to regular basis to end up with a knife in one's purse and not recall how exactly it got there.
You may have a problem.
I am concerned about you.
Also, when posting a blog as alibi for said mystery knife. It's probably not a good idea to tell tales of driving complete strangers off into the woods to "drop them off".
Just sayin'.
It could be worse; you could have found the knife during security check at the airport...awkward...
I LIKE YOU!
(please don't kill me)
If you ever wrote this blog a Dear John letter I would cry. Seriously. I'd at least shed one to three real tears.
Did you put the knife in your bag at a restaurant? I've done that before.
Maybe it was a sign that if you left us all a "Dear John" letter, we'd probably form an angry mob and try to kill you.
But not really. We love you too much.
It's a sign. To...knife something...or er...someone? But definitely not your blog!
You have got to be kidding!
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