Trekker Brain

Call me a masochist (you know you want to).

I like to spend my hard-earned vacations traipsing around the woods with the weight-equivalent of a dead baby cow strapped to my back.

Granted, once I'm out there, I spend about a third of the time bemoaning my decision to voluntarily propel myself up a mountian (with the other two-thirds of the time being devoted to being ready to instantly run from bears and keeping an eye out for the perfect place to pee), but when I'm in the office, all I can do is think about the next time I get to strap on a pack and head off into the woods.

I guess I'm hard to please. When I'm inside I want to be outside, and when I'm outside I want to be inside.

Kind of reminds me of my dog. (Wouldn't be the first time we had thing in common. The other night I was watching him lick his crotch and...well...nevermind)

Needless to say, I'm psyched for my upcoming weekend backpacking trip in Virginia. Shenandoah National Park is the HOTNESS for hiking, namely because we live on the east coast and mountains are hard to come by 'round these ways. And don't even THINK about calling the Delaware Water Gap a mountain or I will smack the face off your head

*cricket

Sorry...I have a little pent-up west-coast envy. I'm working my way through it in Group.

Not that the mountians in Shenandoah Nat'l Park are real mountains, but it's as close as I can get without a plane ticket or 6 days' worth of gas. Brian and I went there last summer and had a phenominal time. Mountains were summitted, booze was drank, and although we came very close on several occasions, the Bear Mace was never used. I'd consider that trip a success.

And this time we are determined to bring Jericho. Last time, he developed a mysterious injury the day before we left, so we had to leave him behind. This time, hopefully, he'll be able to come. Milo will be staying at home because he's too young and frankly, he's going through this defiant phase that makes me not trust him as far as I can throw him (which isn't very far).

He currently thinks his name is MiloNoBadDog.

And now it looks like another couple will be accompanying us on this trip, which is awesome, because there's nothing I enjoy more than introducing other people to the great outdoors

Plus, should we get stranded, that's just more bodies to feed off of. Survival of the fittest, and all...

Nothing says "vacation" like cannibalism

However, the last time I tried to introduce a novice hiker to the joys of trekking, I was in Brazil, and things did not go so well. At one point she looked me dead in the face, panting and sweating, with the look of murder in her eyes, and said slowly "you people are F*CKING CRAZY."
But then again, she sucked balls, so I'm kind of glad she had a miserable experience. Anyone who is lucky enough to travel to Brazil to go hiking in the Amazon Rainforest and spends the whole time complaining and/or crying (yes, crying) can suck a big one. What a loser...

So, 4 days from now I'll be on the side of a mountain, dodging bears and trying not to fall down, because my balance is off to begin with, not to mention when there's a 50lb pack on my back. Prepare to spend the rest of the week barraged with rambling nonesense related to the doors (typo, but I'm leaving it), because I have a serious case of "trekker brain"

or at least, that's my excuse for this week.
Next week, I'll have to go back to the ole, "I was raised by a gay father" excuse. Works every time...