You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

Well, once again, it’s Friday [insert mariachi band music here].

I’ve got a lot going on emotionally today–a couple of big ups and downs that have me confused, overwhelmed, and all and all a hot moody mess wrapped up in a big ball of emotion. I feel like a pregnant lady. It probably doesn’t help that the temperature of my office is a balmy 85 degrees today, or the fact that once again I’m wearing pants that don’t fit (oh, are you tired of hearing about my tight pants? Well I’m tired of wearing tight pants, so everybody loses today). So, yeah…emotional, sweaty, and uncomfortable? Check, check, and check. All I’m missing is the baby and the pregnant-lady waddle. Of course, give me a filling lunch, and I’ll throw in the pregnant-lady waddle in for free.

Which is why my pants don’t fit. And the circle of life continues…

But once again, I’m getting off on a pants tangent when I should be talking about my innermost feelings, because blogging is cheaper than therapy (says the cheap-skate who is currently wearing only one contact because she’s doesn’t want to drop $250 on a new 6-month supply. Guess which eye and win a prize!*).

*you will win nothing

First off, I’ve had to say goodbye to a very dear coworker today, which is always kind of traumatic. When you work in an office 5 days a week for 8 hours a day, the people who work there with you have a profound impact on your life. Like it or not, you’re spending more waking time with these people than anyone who might be waiting for you at home. So, no matter how dysfunctional things get around the office, at the end of the day, these people are your second family. Yes, even the creepy guy who wears the Cosby sweaters and talks about his cats. Yes, even the two-faced office gossip queen who smiles to your face but says god-knows-what about you behind your back. Even though these people may drive you to a drinking problem, they’re still your family, so you’re obligated to put up with them.

Of course, among all the delinquents and creep-oids there are (usually) a handful of truly wonderful people who restore your faith in humanity a scosh. My coworker was one of these individuals. When we got thrown together in a room last winter, we really didn’t know a thing about each other. But as the months went on I came to discover that she was a woman of infinite depth and refreshing humor. We joked, lamented, cheered, and rolled our eyes through a year and a half of office flubs and personal obstacles, establishing an atmosphere of warm, professional good-humor.

This coworker is now moving on to a bigger and better job – one where she will be challenged but undoubtedly succeed, one where she will be better equipped to meet her unlimited potential. I am infinitely happy for her, but I’m not lying when I say I am distressed to see her go. And now, having wished her luck and sent her on her way with a hug and a smile, there is a noticeable absence in our room. She was a great colleague and a wonderful roommate, and her presence will be missed. GOOD LUCK, E___!

And in the other corner, I’m saying a big ole’ hello to Brian. HEY THERE, GUY! I’m saying hello to him because, as I mentioned the other day, tomorrow is our 1-year anniversary. Well, I guess technically it’s the 1-year anniversary of our first date, but from the minute we met we were on each other like white on rice (mostly because I’m easy), so I can honestly say that the instant we locked eyes we were in a long-term relationship and I was already planning a family and trips to the beach with his inlaws, and getting into fights with him while driving to the beach because he forgot to call that woman about refinancing our house, and it’s really not fair that I have to pick up the slack while he only works 4 days a week. At which point he reminds me about how he stayed home last weekend and finished painting the basement while I went out drinking with my friends and had the nerve to drunk-text him and who was that guy in the picture, btw?? And then I tell him that I’m not his property and I’m allowed to talk to other men, and then things escalate until I begin to cry, at which point we drive the rest of the way to the beach in uncomfortable silence…

In other words…pure magic.

But all joking aside, this guy puts up with a LOT of crap from me. Hell, just last night I tried to make muffins (because I didn’t learn from the LAST time I tried to make muffins), and, of course, I burned them. And then I cried. And then I decided that I was incapable of doing anything right. And then I decided I was a fat ass, and stormed out of the kitchen yelling something about it’s fine because I’m never eating again.

And that was all in a 2-minute period.

In a nutshell, this guy deals with my mood swings and PMS-spurred rages like a champ. And what do I get in return? Well, just about the best boyfriend that I could ever want. This wonderful man rubs my shoulders when I’m upset and buys me cards just because, and cooks me healthy dinners because he wants me to feel good about myself. He lets the dogs out first thing in the morning just so I can stay in bed. He drops everything when I just need to talk. He compliments me and supports me and is always there with a shoulder to cry on. He is everything I could ever want in a partner times ten, and he’s wrapped in a smokin’ hot fireman package that makes me weak in the knees.

He’s just about perfect and – more importantly - absolutely perfect for me. So he and I will be saying hello to year number 2 together tomorrow, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

TO YOU, Brian, I say thank you for being my best friend, my partner in crime, and the love of my life. We are sure to have many, MANY more years together, but there is only one “first year.” Thank you for making it the best year of my life.

Sniff….Snob…*grabs tissue, blows nose, realizes that some of the snot missed the tissue has been blown into her palms, wipes palms on jeans and looks around to see if anybody saw what she just did

Okay, I’m done. For those of you who haven’t thrown up, I salute you.

Have a great weekend everybody!