I’m at in impasse.
Well, more like a crossroad.
A T-intersection?
Round-about?
Deaf-Child-At-Play zone?
I dunno.
Something related to a life change, but described as novel traffic patterns (without so much deaf children).
I can’t say too much, again, because I’m not quite sure who exactly reads my blog. In my head, I have a mass following of thousands, but that’s only because narcissism is more fun than facing a reality in which I have no friends. For all intents and purposes, let’s just say I’m stuck choosing between safe-and-boring vs. risky-and-exciting.
It’s an age-old conundrum, but does knowing this make my particular problem any easier to muddle through?
Not one iota (what is an iota anyway?).
Thing is, I want to do stuff. I want to go places. I want freedom and happiness and a hot-tub filled with green jello (hey, as long as we’re dreaming, let’s shoot for the moon).
But I also want to be able to not have to live in a tent in the backyard because we can’t afford to pay the mortgage.
Nothing against the backyard, but that ground-bee nest would have a serious negative impact on our quality of life, and I’m not sure we could afford the drums of Benadryl that we would require on a weekly basis.
Why is it that we’re always forced to choose between happiness and stability? Why can’t they come conveniently packaged together, like that peanut butter and jelly concoction that comes in the same jar?
Where’s my 2 for 1 sale, bitches?!?!?
Don’t get me wrong – I love love LOVE life changes. I love the temporary chaos that comes when you uproot your life, the feeling of starting fresh with a clean slate and having hopes and dreams that have yet to be crushed under the black sole of Reality (she wears a size 26 stiletto). But what I DON’T love is the fear that you took the wrong path.
Even worse?
Finding out that yes, you ass-clown, you took the wrong path.
It’s happened to me before, and I can tell you, it’s an epic bummer.
So here’s me, standing at my T-intersection or round-about or whatever, with traffic backing up behind me, horns blaring, while I nervously look left and right and wonder which way I should go.
Eventually, I’ll have to hit the gas peddle. I just hope that when I do, I’ll turn in the better direction.
And hopefully not run over the deaf child.
You want to talk about an epic bummer?
Try explaining THAT to the parents.
9 comments:
Go with your gut. I know that sounds cheesy, but doing that usually takes you where you need to be.
Wish I could offer some wisdom after being happily married 19 years, but I can't. I do know, when I was engaged and going through all the wedding hoo-hah, I was feeling the exact same way.
Elise:
Luckily, it's not marriage related. The wedding is the one thing I know for SURE is the right path to take :-)
It's everything else thats confusing me.
I agree with Erin - listen to your heart. And live in the now. Whatever you decide, it will be where you are meant to be.
Ps. "Reality wears a size 26 stiletto". That's a good one!
Why yes, my name is Island of Reality, I wear a size 26 jean, and Stilettos. You know me so well!!
I AGREE WITH ERIN...
sorry for the caps.
Go with your gut, if it's the wrong move, you'll figure it out when you get there.
Grow a pair & do it. You know you want to. Where has playing it safe ever gotten you?
I love how you describe this. I'm in a similar position right now and this really resonated with me.
You know what the right answer is, even if it's buried underneath all the stress and worry.
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