Weddings, Funerals, And A Stinking Gypsy Thief

Well hello there!
Wow, I think that was the first time that I’ve missed a blog post (well, two, really, if you want to be honest about it) in the better part of a year. Is the fact that I have a month until my wedding and had to go to a funeral yesterday a good enough excuse?
No?
Well forget you then, fool!

At any rate, yeah, it’ been a hectic couple of days. Wednesday night I successfully purchased a wedding dress that is THE dress for me. I love it. Picture me in the most perfect dress you can think of, and that’s what I’m wearing.
Awesome.
But no pics, because Brian is a sneaky Mo-Fo and he just might log on to this blog to try to catch a peak of it, and that is not cool.

Yesterday was Brian’s grandmother’s funeral (and an unpaid work day for me, but I’m not still bitter about it. Nope. Not bitter at all). So needless to say it wasn’t the best circumstances under which to meet some of his family, but whaddya gonna do? Funerals happen. We are both very sad that Nana will not be able to attend the wedding, but we can only hope that somehow she will still be there.
Or whatever.

I don’t really believe that people have souls, but it’s a nice thought anyway.

Regardless…There has been a whole lot of wedding going on in this blog, and I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to go all bridezilla on your collective asses, so let’s move on, shall we?

I’m excited to announce that Brian and I had a major discovery this weekend.
You see, when we adopted Milo The Destroyer of Worlds from the shelter, we had no idea what breed he was. He was kind of like the mystery meat of dog breeds; he had no real defining characteristics, and while he greatly resembled a dog, there was a small part of us that wondered if we weren’t obtaining the offspring of some sort of large, mutated sewer rat and a hyena that escaped from the zoo.

Okay, he was cuter than that, but you get the idea.

In fact, when we first saw him, I wanted to keep going because he was (if I recall correctly), “too goofy looking.”
Yeah, I’m that heartless.

But in the end, we brought the litter bastard home and for the most part, I haven’t regretted it (except for when he eats my shit, and then I go postal and threaten to send him back to the pound.)
Because once again, yeah, I’m that heartless.

His breed though? Was still largely unknown.
This is Milo’s picture from the animal shelter website, where they described him as a “Black-mouth cur mix" (whatever that is):

And here are more updated pics taken over a 4th of July camping trip:

As you can see, his breeding doesn’t really stand out. People see the brindle and think he’s a Pit. People see the long tail and rounded haunches and think he’s a Whippet or Greyhound. He’s been called part Doberman, and part Hound and part Catahoula Leopard and everything else under the sun.

And based on his penchant for eating just about anything he can get his mouth on, Brian and I personally pinned him as part hyena and part goat.

And then this weekend, we saw the movie Snatch. In the movie there was a scene where “Pikies” (Irish gypsies) were Hare Coursing a.k.a setting dogs on a hare and betting on whether or not the hare would get away or be eaten. (gross). And just at that moment, when the hare was released, we saw a shot of Milo running across the screen.

Well, not literally, but you get the idea.

Of course, Brian and I got all excited because that’s the first time that we’ve seen a dog that even resembled Milo, let alone could have been his twin. So we looked up Lurchers online and got pictures like this:

And this:

And this:

And while not every dog looks exactly like him, they all have his body type or his nose or his eyes, or SOMETHING that is spot-on for Milo.

But the best part? Was this sentence found on Wikipedia:

The name lurcher is derived from the Romani language word "lur," which means "thief."

…which totally explains why Milo steals my bras and shoes and shirts and hides them between the couch cushions.

And all this time I thought he just needed therapy...

So there you have it. Milo is a Lurcher. A sneaky gypsy thief bastard who was bred for chasing and eating rabbits.

Strangely enough, the website said nothing about “bra hunting”

Huh.