Faces, Shmaces

When I walked into Red Carpet Cakes last week, after shaking the hand of the owner, the very next words out of her mouth were, “wow, you look like…somebody.”

As vague as that statement is, I have to say that yeah, I get that a lot. I don’t know what it is about me, but every time I meet somebody new, they inevitably have a friend/cousin/ex-girlfriend who looks exactly like me.

Am I that generically faced? I try not to think about it.

And the celebrity look-alike game?
Fuhgetta ‘bout it.

I’ve been told that I look like every celebrity under the sun.

First off, there's me:

Who did I look like, according to Jen from Red Carpet Cakes?
Anna Paquin.

Okay, I can kind of see it. There’s definitely a vague similarity between us

But I’ve been told that I look like celebrities that I know FOR A FACT that look nothing like me.

Mariah Carey?

Uhh, just because we both have long curly hair does NOT mean I could be her stunt double (although my rockin’ ass would do her proud).


Claire Danes?


Well, there was that time in 7th grade when I dyed my hair bright orange (aah, to re-live the angsty moods of Angela in My So-Called Life. And Jordan Catalano? He needed to be in my pants, like, yesterday).
But once again, similar hair does not an identical twin make.

Anne Hathaway?

Wow, I totally see it. We both have two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.
It’s like looking into a mirror.

Cameron Diaz?

Uhhh, no. No way, no how.

Salma Hayek?

Umm, have you seen the color of my skin (or lack thereof)?

And on that note, Beyonce?
BEYONCE?!? Are you friggin kidding me?!?

I…I can’t.
While I applaud this person’s ability to “not see color” (in the words of Stephen Colbert), I think it’s safe to say that I would never be mistaken for a Nubian princess.
Again, it’s that damn curly hair…


And then there’s my sister.
If you’ve met both me and my sister, you probably belong to one of two crowds:
The ones who think we look like twins and have come up to me in the street before ever knowing me to ask if I have a sister named Emily, and the ones who are kind of “Meh, I guess.”

Sorry, Em. That's the best picture of you have I have on my work computer.

Personally, I don’t see it at all. But once in a while, when there’s a picture lying around and I’m looking at it upside down, or it’s blurry or I’m not paying attention, I think it’s me…and it’s not. It’s her. So I guess I sometimes see the resemblance, but only when I’m not looking for it (like when you try to look at a star dead-on and it disappears in that little black hole in the center of your vision).

Human brains are trained to see and recognize faces. That whole virgin-Mary-in-the-toast thing is testament to our brains’ abilities to pick out faces in the most random smattering of shades. I think it’s amazing that we can recognize so many faces that are, essentially, the same (what with the orifices and whatnot).

But the person who confused me with Beyonce?
THAT person probably needs an MRI.

Who do you look like?