Friday Featured FRIGHTENER

HAPPY HALLOWEEN (observed)!!!!!
I don’t generally blog on weekends, so today is my official Halloween blog.

BOO!

I don’t have anything really scary to post on here, except for the fact that the Yankees won Game 2 of the World Series last night.
Frightening, I know.
(In all honesty, I only watch baseball as an excuse to drink beer. Do I care who wins? Not that much…)

BUT –
Let’s see if we can’t squeeze some Halloween out of this here blog anyhow, shall we?

And it being Friday, I should probably do a Friday Featured Follower.
So, on account of it being both Halloween (observed) AND Friday, today’s featured follower is:

Wait for it…

SATAN.

Now, he’s not a traditional Friday Featured Follower in that he doesn’t have a blog. I DID find a blog by a so-called Satan, but I gotta tell you – I don’t buy it. Maybe it’s because he only has 23 followers, and last time I checked, there are more than 23 Nazis and Republicans out there, so, right off the bat, I’m suspicious. Plus, he hasn’t posted since June 29th, and I know he’s busy and all, but something tells me the REAL Satan would update more regularly, if only for his fan-base.

We all know the KKK get cranky when they have nothing to read while eating their Cinnamon Toast Crunch in the morning.

However, due to the nature of my posts (let’s not talk about this one. And this one. Aaannnddd possibly this one), I can only assume that Satan follows my blog. Not publically of course. But he’s there.

Can’t you feel him?
He tells me to burn things.

Anyfireandbrimstone…

Why I want to do sexy times with him (good lord did I actually just write that I want to do sexy times with the devil?!? Well if I wasn’t going to hell before, I CERTAINLY am now)

Because he’s HOT (yuk yuk). In all seriousness, I’ve always been attracted to the bad boys. There was Phil Diamond in highschool – the senior who skipped class and who I’m pretty sure showed up to school intoxicated at least twice a week. And there was my ex-husband who…well…was a bad boy in a number of ways, and taught me a valuable lesson about WHY DRUG DEALERS DO NOT MAKE GOOD HUSBANDS (is there anything as stupid as an infatuated 22 year old?). But Satan? He’s the ultimate Bad Boy upon which all other bad boys are compared to. Skipping class and selling pot are KID’S STUFF compared to famine and war.

Plus, I feel like he probably rides a motorcycle, which is pretty sexy. I heart bikers.

One of his most memorable deeds
Wow, so many to choose from!
But I think I’m going to go with the Black Death.

According to Wikipedia (ahem…)

The Black Death was one of the deadliest pandemics in human history, peaking in Europe between 1348 and 1350. Usually thought to have started in Central Asia, it had reached the Crimea by 1346 and from there, probably from black rats on merchant ships, it spread throughout the Mediterranean and Europe. The Black Death is estimated to have killed 30% to 60% of Europe's population, reducing the world's population from an estimated 450 million to between 350 and 375 million in 1400. This has been seen as creating a series of religious, social and economic upheavals which had profound effects on the course of European history. It took 150 years for Europe's population to recover. The plague returned at various times, resulting in a larger number of deaths, until it left Europe in the 19th century.

Wow.
I mean…wow.
I just...wow.
That’s old school. I can only dream about inflicting that kind of mortality rate on this planet. At best, I’d be able to pick off a handful of people from a clocktower before I got nabbed by the po-po. But 30% to 60% of Europe’s population? Well, I bow down to the master.

(Okay, I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that I am NOT, in fact, a devil-worshipper, and Tapdancing In The Dark does in no way, shape, or form promote mass-murder. Excluding Republicans, whom I think we can all agree should probably be wiped off the face of this earth. Nor does Tapdancing In The Dark actually desire to pick people off from a clocktower, although the though has crossed our minds, usually during the morning commute.

Also, henceforward, Tapdancing In The Dark will refer to ourselves in the first person plural. Because we think that sounds very official and kind of bad-ass)

So that was today’s Friday Featured FRIGHTENER. Want to be in the running? You know what to do. Click the ole’ follow button and commence with ego stroking.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
I’d like to acknowledge this very awesome and sexy award I got from Adrienzgirl over at Think Tank Momma:

Awards are ALWAYS appreciated, and I have to say that Adrienzgirl is one of my newest and most favorite bloggy buddies. Her blog is awesome. And sassy. And a little bit wild.
I love her. You should love her too.

Anyhoo - THANKS, THINK TANK MOMMA!
I’ll be sending you a picture of my own home-made post-it outfit soon. Just a little sumthin-sumthin from me to you *wink wink

(make sure you have a bucket on hand for the vomit when you open the file. I haven't shaved my back in a while.)

Okay ghosts and ghouls, that's about it for me. Have a safe and happy Halloween, and I'll see y’all on Monday!