Wow.
It’s the day before our 4th of July weekend, and our company owner so graciously relaxed the dress code to “picnic attire,” which means that I’m sitting at my desk in flip flops, cargo capris, and a T-shirt. My feet are happy. My waist is happy. My boobs are happy. I’m happy – well, as happy as one can be when one has to go to work on a day where the majority of the country has off. They may be sipping Pina Coladas by the pool, but I’m…uh…enjoying a complimentary hamburger or hotdog (your choice) during our designated 1:00 to 2:00 lunch hour?
Yeah, sometimes I really hate my life.
Still, it’s amazing how different things feel today, mostly because for once I’m actually comfortable. The head of our company says that when people dress nicer, they work harder. I’m still trying to figure out what planet he’s from.
Dear Boss-man: YOU might work harder when you’re dressed up, but I for one work harder when I’m not worrying about my pinched toes and underwire. Keep this in mind the next time you see me walking by in “business” attire. I may look nice, but I ain’t. doing. shit.
Okay, let’s be honest: I ain’t doing shit anyway.
ESPECIALLY not on the day before our long 4th of July weekend. As we speak, Brian is at home packing the car for a 2-night camping trip in PA.
Camping: Reminding people why they sprung for the $5,000 tempur-pedic bed since 1987.
We wanted to go backpacking this weekend, but we have several birthday commitments between Saturday and Sunday (yay for cake, boo for a missed trekking opportunity). So, a night or two of car camping with the dogs will have to suffice. This is Milo’s first camping trip, and I’m not sure what to expect, other than the trademark whirlwind of wood chips and urine and utter chaos and destruction that usually accompanies him.
Puppies…
Hopefully, Jericho will keep him in line. But as of late, Jericho has been spending the majority his time being the literal low man on the totem pole, looking up at me with “bad touch” eyes while Milo humps the everliving daylights out of him. They say it’s a dominance thing, but I mean, really, how much can one dog dominate another before it just turns into an outright sausage fest? I’m beginning to question the sexuality of our most recent addition to the family.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
It’s the day before our 4th of July weekend, and our company owner so graciously relaxed the dress code to “picnic attire,” which means that I’m sitting at my desk in flip flops, cargo capris, and a T-shirt. My feet are happy. My waist is happy. My boobs are happy. I’m happy – well, as happy as one can be when one has to go to work on a day where the majority of the country has off. They may be sipping Pina Coladas by the pool, but I’m…uh…enjoying a complimentary hamburger or hotdog (your choice) during our designated 1:00 to 2:00 lunch hour?
Yeah, sometimes I really hate my life.
Still, it’s amazing how different things feel today, mostly because for once I’m actually comfortable. The head of our company says that when people dress nicer, they work harder. I’m still trying to figure out what planet he’s from.
Dear Boss-man: YOU might work harder when you’re dressed up, but I for one work harder when I’m not worrying about my pinched toes and underwire. Keep this in mind the next time you see me walking by in “business” attire. I may look nice, but I ain’t. doing. shit.
Okay, let’s be honest: I ain’t doing shit anyway.
ESPECIALLY not on the day before our long 4th of July weekend. As we speak, Brian is at home packing the car for a 2-night camping trip in PA.
Camping: Reminding people why they sprung for the $5,000 tempur-pedic bed since 1987.
We wanted to go backpacking this weekend, but we have several birthday commitments between Saturday and Sunday (yay for cake, boo for a missed trekking opportunity). So, a night or two of car camping with the dogs will have to suffice. This is Milo’s first camping trip, and I’m not sure what to expect, other than the trademark whirlwind of wood chips and urine and utter chaos and destruction that usually accompanies him.
Puppies…
Hopefully, Jericho will keep him in line. But as of late, Jericho has been spending the majority his time being the literal low man on the totem pole, looking up at me with “bad touch” eyes while Milo humps the everliving daylights out of him. They say it’s a dominance thing, but I mean, really, how much can one dog dominate another before it just turns into an outright sausage fest? I’m beginning to question the sexuality of our most recent addition to the family.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
So me and the boyfriend and our two dogs of questionable sexual orientation will be heading out into the wilds of PA to battle the elements and pee outside and do other outdoorsy type activities to counteract the effects of having a day-job in corporate hell.
Meat will be cooked, my friends. In large quantities, on an open flame.
So I hope everybody has a happy 4th of July weekend and nobody blows their fingers off playing with illegal fireworks.
Remember kids: try to find the fingers before you go to the hospital - they might be able to be reattached. Or, when all else fails, they make a great memento.
9 comments:
Oh Jericho - that face says it all. I might venture to guess that my own face wears a similar expression when The Wallet starts....never mind.
Have a great weekend!
I love Jericho's face! Have fun on your camping trip. I will be eating my weight in hotdogs and moving my boyfriend in.
And I will also be enjoying the weekend in the sprawling solitude of Rough River in Kentucky, where my parents have a lake house...it's fun for us to watch our dog smell old fish bones and pee on the same bones every time she walks by them...it's like she is telling the old fish bones "I own you, bitch"... then we shall enjoy alcohol consumption and wait for the neighbors down the lake to fire off their cannon...yes, they own a real fucking cannon, and they fire it for no damn good reason...
We also got free hot dogs and hamburgers at work today. In addition to a hot dog eating contest. Good times.
Oh and speaking of peeing outside, remember when we peed on the side of the gas station? We should do that again some time! :)
Haha that should totally be an ad for camping, although it might be counter productive. I love that at my office we don't have to "dress up".
Have a great weekend!
i hear you about the whole 'work attire' crap, does anyone seriously believe that nonsense?
also, the pic of jericho oozes doggie cuteness.
I used to work for a company that had a "dress down day" on Fridays.
I would invariably arrive for work in Florsheims, tier 1 trousers, a button-down shirt, necktie and, if I was feeling really cheeky, a tweed vest with my pocketwatch chain strung across the front.
FUCK THE MAN!
You know it's a good day when the boobs are happy...
Wait, you told me your boobs weren't happy because they realized they were still confined even though the rest of your body was comfy!
Hope you're having a great (abbreviated) camping trip. When we get back, we have to start a petition for casual workplace.
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