If You Have An Actual Job, You Probably Don't Want To Read This

Brian asked me to take care of his FarmVille today. It's not that I don't mind helping a brotha out, but his farm is, like, really really big and time consuming, and for the record, this is the third day in a row he's asked me to farm that sombitch.



All of this aside, what's really deterring me from volunteering my farming time and skills is the reason he's unable to farm his land.



Brian, it seems, has discovered a new computer game: Wine Tycoon. So essentially, Brian is unable to play his one computer game because he is too busy playing another computer game.



...you see my dilemma here.



So allow me to present to you,



Acceptable Reasons to Ask Your Spouse to Farm Your Farmville Crops:

- You are vacuuming out the water in the basement

- You are in a coma

- You are being mauled by a bear

- You are making and/or purchasing a cake (for me)

- You have been arrested

- You broke both your wrists in an unfortunate snowboarding accident

- You are too busy checking out my fine, fine ass

- You have actual, income-generating work to do

- You are on fire

- You are busy buying me a present



And while we're on the topic,



Unacceptable Reasons to Ask Your Spouse to Farm Your Farmville Crops:

- You are busy playing another computer game

- You are napping

- You are on the couch, and the laptop is waayyyyy over there

- See above





But on the bright side, THESE, now, are the types of problems I'm encountering. Not "I'm going to shank my coworkers," or "If I have to sit through one more of these awful meetings I'm going to throw myself out of this third-story window"....



Now, it's just all, "Baby, can you farm my crops?" and I'm all, "Do it yourself, bitch."



I may be broke, but at least I have finally prioritized my life.

:-)