Monday, December 14, 2009

Water, Water Everywhere And Not A Drop To Drink

I think we all here at Tapdancing in the Dark know that while I am quick to criticize, I am also quick to eat some humble pie.

Or any type of pie, for that matter.

mmmmm. Pie.
I digress…

So despite my recent rantings and ravings about my overall job satisfaction (or lack thereof), I must admit that perhaps maybe I spoke a bit too soon...

I know.
You’re shocked.
I am too.

You see, this whole time I truly believed that the company had an overall disregard for its employees happiness (and access to healthcare) (and ability to retire). Of course, there were a number of examples to support this conclusion, which I will not get into here for the sake of my blood pressure, but needless to say, a mildly disgruntled employee I was.

But then I got this email from the HR Department, and I have to say, I've really put my foot in my mouth complaining about how callously we employees were being treated.

Take a look-see:

Hello everyone,
Over the weekend both of the water fountains were fixed. We have had several requests to look into why they were not working, and we responded. Enjoy the water! Evidently there are filters that need to be changed as they get clogged.
Thanks,
[HR]

Wow.
Humble pie, serving of one, please.

I mean, here I was, going on and on about how abused we employees were, and then the company goes and does something as groundbreaking and progressive as allowing us access to clean water.

FOR FREE, people!

I mean, it’s one thing to provide vending machines that supply bottled water for the first 15 days of the month (or until it runs out) at the low, low price of $1.25 per bottle. After all, we are all so generously paid, the concept of shelling out more than $35 a month is a small price to pay to stay hydrated with water that doesn’t taste like you’re sucking on a lead pipe.
(That’s what she said.)

And it’s another thing to provide us with no-cost water that is seasoned with a healthy helping of E. Coli, because what do you expect for free? Plus, everybody could use a little more excitement in their lives, and what’s more exciting than playing a game of Russian Roulette with your drinking water?

Well, maybe a monkey knife fight.
NOTHING is more exciting that a good monkey knife fight.

But providing us with water that is both safe AND free?
…I’m at a loss for words.

No.
Really.
WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE the feelings that are welling up in me at this moment…

And it only took several requests for them to look into this! Only, like, three people had to get seriously dehydrated before they took a look at the water fountain filters. How's THAT for a quick response?
I mean, you can’t really blame them; who could have possibly anticipated that filters in the water fountains would get clogged? Who has ever heard of a filter that needs to be replaced? They should seriously write to the filter manufacturer and get their money back. AND THEN contact the Better Business Bureau because this manufacturer is clearly out to swindle the public.

Regardless, it is THIS type of problem solving that makes me proud to be an employee at this company.

It almost makes me sad to think that I’m leaving in 5 days.

ALMOST.

8 comments:

Erin said...

Where's your company safety commitee! You guys are in need of some five-hour meetings brainstorming how to fix the drinking water problem.

Travis said...

I worked at a place once where the drinking water at the fountain WASN'T COLD.

I could give two shits about E. Coli... (heh. get it?)

I just want cold drinking water!

anya said...

I'm sensing some sarcasm here...

So what are you doing on your last day of work? Cake for everyone, laced with arsenic?

Ed said...

*gulp,gulp,gulp*

Aaahhhhaaaa!

I'm sorry, were you saying something?

Elise said...

Ya know, Lily, your blog ain't gonna be the same without your job to rant against. But I'm sure you'll fill in the space with good stuff. :-)

adrienzgirl said...

Wow Lily, you must rethink that whole quitting thing. They are, afterall, committed to making sure you all have clean drinking water. And hell, it only took the people in HR, what 30 something, 40 something years of life to realize that a water fountain has a fucking water filter. I mean, that's pretty close to fucking genius right there. You might want to stick with it, see what other life altering things you can learn over the remainder of the life span of the MIT graduate working in HR!

Mr. Apron said...

Wait a minute-- things with pipes and liquid that goes into peoples' mouths need to be cleaned?

So... does the same apply to the Brita that I've had for eight years?

Gee... I hope not.

Kim said...

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! This post cracked me up. The "low, low price of $1.25." Classic