A Viking Funeral For 2

Me: Hey Bluefish, how ya feeling today?
BF: …..
Me: Bluefish? You okay?
Bf:….
Me: *tap tap
BF: ….

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Bluefish has officially gone to that big aquarium in the sky. I know that a lot of people though he died earlier this week when I posted my conversation with him (although, I don’t know how I’d have a conversation with a dead fish) (then again, I guess it’s pretty remarkable that I have conversations with fish, in general).

Poor Bluefish.

So of course, I had to contact his grandmother (via text) and break the news to her.

Me: RIP Bluefish
Mom: OMG! (how can you tell?)
Me: what do you mean how can I tell? He’s lying at the bottom of the tank and not moving when I tap on the tank.
Mom: So sad! Will you have a service?
Me: We’re thinking more like a Viking funeral
Mom: Oooh! So cool! Of course the fireman would think of that
Me: No, his barbarian wife thought of that
Mom: You 2 go so well together!


Awww, isn’t that cute?

And at this point, I'd like to recall another story that comes to mind. The year is 2004 and I am an intern in the office where my mother works. In that office, we all had these cool combination fishtank/plant arrangements on our desks, complete with our own individual beta fish. Of course, most of the fish died earlier that year, but mom's held out longer than the others.

Did I mention that she named him Ivan Analitch?
Think about it.

At any rate, eventually, he passed away. So of course, my mother sent around an email (it was a small office full of pretty cool people) saying that Ivan had passed away and we would be gathering around the pond out back to send him off at lunch.

Did I also mention that we had hired, like six new people THAT VERY DAY?

So of course the new people, thinking that Ivan is some sort of...well...person....are confused.

Eventually, one of them came up to my mother and wanted to know the address of the family so she could send a condolence card. My mother was like, "WHOSE family?" And the woman was like, "Ivan's. Who is he, by the way?"

Apparently, the new people had been talking and had decided that Ivan was the janitor or something, and that his last wish had been to be sunk in the corporate pond out back.

Of course we all had a good laugh over it, and to this day, every time I see a beta fish, I think of good old Ivan.


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In other news, today is my last day at work. As of 12:30 this afternoon, I will be a free (read: unemployed) woman.

Holy crap!

So tonight, we will be saying goodbye to both Bluefish and “Corporate Lily” in the ways of our ancestors. Namely, drinking beer and setting things on fire before shoving them out to sea.

I think Ivan would be approve.

Happy Weekend, everybody!