A Eulogy

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our friend and companion, Follower #21. It seems like it was just yesterday when Follower #21 was with us, sharing in our joys and commiserating in our sorrows. Follower #21 was the quiet type, not quick to leave a comment, but had a gentle way about him, lending support by following my blog in a wholly public fashion.

Follower #21 touched me deeply. On the day his little character appeared in my readers list, I proudly announced to my coworker that “more than 20 people are now following my blog.” It was in this way that Follower #21 held a special place in my heart. But now he is gone, and I have only 20 followers. They are wonderful, yes, but his presence is sorely missed.

It is difficult to say what happened to Follower #21. Perhaps he met with an unfortunate end at the hands of a great white shark while surfing off of the coast of Austraila, or picked up a deadly case of swine flu while shopping at flea-market in Texas, or followed through with murder suicide pact by fatally shooting his significant other before turning the gun on himself.

Or, one could propose that Follower #21 entered the witness protection program after agreeing to testify against an organized crime mobster. Perhaps Follower #21 was forced to cut ties with his friends and family to assume a new identity in a new city. It must have been difficult for Follower #21 to agree to abandon my blog, but at the risk of his own life, he must have had no choice but to bow out of my readers list.

Maybe Follower #21 has a personal vendetta against Google Blogger. Perhaps Follower #21 is boycotting the service, having removed his identity from the Google Blogger member list. Is it possible that Follower #21 is somewhere out there in the vast wilderness of internet, anonymously sharing in my daily adventures and perusing my social commentary? Are you out there, Follower #21?!?!? Send me a sign!

Surely, it cannot be that Follower #21 ceased reading my blog due to the nature of my posts. Were there one too many porn references or curse words? Should I have left the critically placed asterisks? Did I go to far when I made fun of the chronic complainer? Did I seem inhuman when I criticized my father? Is my daily content so boring and vapid as to drive my readers away?

Follower #21, I beseech you; did I not entertain you as I sought out to do?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!?


But I guess we'll never know. Follower #21 left my life as silently as he entered it, and he took a little piece of my heart with him. Now, there is nothing left but an empty place where his character once stood.

Whatever your reason for leaving, be it death or Google feud or sheer boredom, you are missed, Follower #21.

More than you will ever know.