You know you’re ghetto when you pour a serving size of yogurt from the big 20-oz container into a tupperware bowl for breakfast because you can’t be bothered to go out and buy individual yogurt cups.
That’s how my morning started, because we’re currently playing the “eat everything in the house before we go shopping again” game, which is actually a clever moniker for the “we don’t feel like going to the grocery store and spending hundreds of dollars” game, and the kitchen is looking a little sparse.
Okay, a LOT sparse.
We’re pretty much down to loose oats, tea, canned soup, canned tuna, half a box of whole-wheat fusilli, and a left-over omelet from last Sunday’s brunch. No, not this past Sunday. The one before it. Hey, it still might be good, right?
It’s not that we don’t have the money to go grocery shopping, it’s just that we don’t want to spend it. Hey, I bust my ass from Monday through Friday [writing creative blogs], and I really hate spending that hard-earned cash on necessities like electricity and food and running water. It always comes down to this: Sure, we could spend $200 on food...OR...we could buy a plane ticket to California! See what I mean? Which one sounds like more fun to you?
But, as I was pouring the yogurt into my little tupperware bowel this morning, I kind of realized that we had hit rock bottom. Things like milk and eggs and meat were starting to become a distant memory, and I came to the conclusion that if I didn’t go shopping tonight, the only thing left for breakfast tomorrow morning would be the last piece of home-made bread...mold and all. My grandparents say you can just pick it off, but every woman has her limits. I think I’ve officially reached mine.
Which is just as well, because I’ve been missing one integral stick of pastel Secret deodorant since our backpacking trip over Memorial Day weekend. No, I haven’t been going without deodorant this whole time, but I’ve definitely smelled more manly since that weekend. I believe my exact aroma is called Arctic Blast. It definitely freaks Brian out. But you know what? It isn’t the first time I’ve used men’s deodorant, and it probably won’t be the last.
Because I do what it takes to get the job done.
Which is why I probably would have been better off working as a high-class hooker than as a medical writer.
Wait. What?
That’s how my morning started, because we’re currently playing the “eat everything in the house before we go shopping again” game, which is actually a clever moniker for the “we don’t feel like going to the grocery store and spending hundreds of dollars” game, and the kitchen is looking a little sparse.
Okay, a LOT sparse.
We’re pretty much down to loose oats, tea, canned soup, canned tuna, half a box of whole-wheat fusilli, and a left-over omelet from last Sunday’s brunch. No, not this past Sunday. The one before it. Hey, it still might be good, right?
It’s not that we don’t have the money to go grocery shopping, it’s just that we don’t want to spend it. Hey, I bust my ass from Monday through Friday [writing creative blogs], and I really hate spending that hard-earned cash on necessities like electricity and food and running water. It always comes down to this: Sure, we could spend $200 on food...OR...we could buy a plane ticket to California! See what I mean? Which one sounds like more fun to you?
But, as I was pouring the yogurt into my little tupperware bowel this morning, I kind of realized that we had hit rock bottom. Things like milk and eggs and meat were starting to become a distant memory, and I came to the conclusion that if I didn’t go shopping tonight, the only thing left for breakfast tomorrow morning would be the last piece of home-made bread...mold and all. My grandparents say you can just pick it off, but every woman has her limits. I think I’ve officially reached mine.
Which is just as well, because I’ve been missing one integral stick of pastel Secret deodorant since our backpacking trip over Memorial Day weekend. No, I haven’t been going without deodorant this whole time, but I’ve definitely smelled more manly since that weekend. I believe my exact aroma is called Arctic Blast. It definitely freaks Brian out. But you know what? It isn’t the first time I’ve used men’s deodorant, and it probably won’t be the last.
Because I do what it takes to get the job done.
Which is why I probably would have been better off working as a high-class hooker than as a medical writer.
Wait. What?
Classy.
So I’m guessing that tonight’s itinerary will include a trip to the grocery store, despite the fact that Brian was toying with the idea of putting it off for another day. He brought up the fact that we had leftover pasta from last night, and I could bring in a can of soup for lunch tomorrow. “Plus,” he said, “we haven’t had food for so long, I’m kind of used to it at this point.”
Great.
Now we’re officially living in the Great Depression.
I suppose it’ll be nice to have cabinets stocked with produce and baked goods and snacks again, but I think a small part of me will miss the adventure of foraging for my food each morning. Somehow, my breakfast bagel tastes better when it was discovered in the back of the freezer, hidden under an empty Eggo Waffel box and 2 years’ worth of frost. It’s like I earned it or something.
I am Woman. Hear me Roar.
Oh, wait, that was just my stomach...
4 comments:
hahaha... well, why don't you guys try buying groceries online? Lots of big chain supermarkets offer that option.
I dont know what it says about me but I think one of the happiest times last week was when I discovered chocolate chip waffles in my freezer, meaning I could have a mini breakfast and an extra cup of coffee in the morning. Bonus!
Yogurt?
Loose tea?
I'm not convinced you're ghetto.
Unless the tea is caffienated.
Really Lily? Moldy bread? We haven't talked in years, but shortly after re-newing our friendship we have to have this discussion again?
Here we go, right back to where we left off....
Post a Comment