Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman's Social Calendar

There are not a lot of benefits to being married to an uneducated, unemployed, abusive man with a developing personality disorder. Trust me on this one. But one of the very few good things about being married to The Ex was a relatively empty social calendar.

You see, The Ex was so socially awkward that he had very few friends, save for a handful of guys he went to high-school with. Even his family had a hard time dealing with him (which should have been a warning). While this situation left me feeling pretty isolated, on the other hand, I had copious amounts of free time on the weekends, which I used to rest up and relax and do my best to try to forget that I was married to a guy with Chronic Asshole-itus.

Now that I’m dating a man with a significant number of family members, close friends, and acquaintances, it’s like the Party Bomb exploded all over my summer. Which sounds great in theory, until you realize you’re booked solid from now until 2015.

Okay, it’s not quite that bad, but the LAST two weekends were crazy and THIS weekend is shaping up to be even crazier, which is already giving me a headache and a bad case of Tourettes. And as the commitments keep piling on, it’s all I can do to resist throwing a temper tantrum of epic proportions (which is exactly what I did yesterday when I went to get dressed for a party and realized that a skirt I used to wear no longer fit over my “milk shake” [I don’t even know what that mean {I also don’t think I could possibly use any more parentheses/brackets}])

I’ve always been kind of an independent person. I have a few close friends, but I’ve never been the type to go out with a gaggle of women and do social-type things. I’ll take hiking with a buddy over partying en masse any day of the week. As such, I’ve come to fiercely protect my “me-time.” I may not be a high-maintenance gal in the traditional sense, but I’ve come to realize that I need a healthy dose of personal rest and relaxation to keep me emotionally stable. This past weekend’s tantrum was a small example of what can happen when I’m forced to shuffle from event to event without so much as a breather.

Between now and next Monday, I have Brian’s brother Scott and his girlfriend Katy staying over for 2 nights, dinner with Brian’s parents (to say goodbye to Scott and Katy), 2 nights of camping, A 1-year-old’s birthday party, and a second dinner with Brian’s parents (to celebrate his Aunt’s birthday).

And I wonder why my left eye is twitching...

For Brian’s sake, I’ll take a deep breath and try to remember that I should be grateful for having so many friends and loved ones. But seriously? If I try on one more skirt that doesn’t fit, I swear to god I’ll unleash a fury that has not yet been witnessed by man.

Brian: If you’re reading this? You’d better bring your riot gear home. You know...just in case.