Monday, August 24, 2009

Going Postal in 3...2...1...

Oh, I KNOW I am not spending the next 5 work days coping and pasting medical information into an Excel Spreadsheet…
Because there is NO FREAKING WAY that I spent my hard-earned dollars on a college degree only to perform a task that any trained monkey (with a rudimentary grasp on the English language) could perform.



This?
Is me seething with rage and pent-up frustration.

Okay, I totally admit it:
I’m a snob.
I’m a writer-snob with an English degree and a disdain for menial tasks.
But isn’t that why I went to college in the first place? To ensure that I wouldn’t be stuck doing menial tasks for the rest of my life?

So somebody PLEASE explain to me why I’m going to be spending the next 36.25 work hours researching doctors on Google!

Not even half-a-day in to this project, and I’m seriously torn between falling asleep and wanting to punch myself in the face.

It’s like this:
Copy *click* paste (resist urge to punch self in face)
Copy *click* paste
Copy *click* paste
Copy *click* paste (catch self dozing off)
Copy *click* paste
Copy *click* paste (resist urge to punch self in face)

Etc….

And I know what you’re going to say.
You’re going to say that instead of complaining (once again), I should just be grateful that I even have a job, considering the current economic crisis.

But you know what?
I’m thinking that you need to shut your whore mouth.

Because if THIS is what my job is going to entail, I’d rather get laid off, collect some unemployment, and spend my days doing productive and/or relaxing than waste the better part of my waking life doing this shit-work.

The worst part is, I know I shouldn’t be writing about this, because if I know anything, it’s that information spreads, and possibly the worst thing you can do is air your work grievances online.
But you know what? I’m sick and fucking tired of not being challenged, not having enough work to do, and not utilizing my hard-earned skill sets.

This data entry?
Is just the icing on the cake that depression baked.

mmmm…cake.
(did I also mention that brainless busy work makes me hungry like a gutter child?)

And I won’t even mention, CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU about the obnoxious emails that get sent on a daily basis, summarizing everybody’s efforts with the most insulting, offensive tone imaginable.

Or maybe I can.

Observe:

*******************************************************

Impressive job today!!!!

2965 records completed (70% of total database) – an increase of 234 records completed from yesterday’s count; of those, 958 have e-mail addresses (23% of total database).

Please keep in mind that we have Business Communications training Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. We still need to hit our 5% each day, so this means that those of us who are not in class will have to work a little harder to get our 214 records those days.

The group effort has been terrific. Thanks, and keep it up.

PS – Have you been finding that you are learning “very interesting” facts about the docs you are researching? Kitty Kelley, the “author” of celebrity biographies, married one of the docs I was researching … Who says this research task isn’t fun????

***********************************************************

Where do I start with this email?
Do I start with the insinuation that everybody isn’t working hard already? Do I discuss the brown-nosing, cheerleader-esque tone that is taken ONLY because the company owner and VP are copied on each and every email (I can only hope they are filled with as much distain as I am upon reading these monstrosities)? Do I cite the horrendous “fun fact” that is enclosed at the bottom of each email? Do I even touch on the fact that our company is currently participating in Business Communications Training?!?!?!?

AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there you have it.
Rule # 1 of blogging: don’t talk about your job.
BROKEN.

Do I care?
Not really.

At this point, they should just be glad that I don’t own a semi-automatic.

8 comments:

Mr. Apron said...

Wow.

Kitty Kelley can suck me.

Every job I've held since I graduated from college, including the one I hold now, post Master's degree, could have been done by a middle-schooler.

Yeah. Even the ones with the helmets.

Elle said...

If my office wasn't tiny, I'd have thought we worked in the same place.

And if I hear one more person say, "Just be thankful for your job!" I'm going to punch them.

From one Blogger going postal to another, I feel your pain!

Erin said...

I completely relate except I don't even have my own cubicle. I'm at a long L shaped desk with four other women all within two feet of my person. I also do data entry all day.

Awesome.

phairhead said...

AHHHHHH! that's misery.

word up on being an English major snob. fie on the coporate world!

rachaelgking said...

You should totally pull a Milton.

Mike said...

"Impressive job today!!!!"

See, that alone should have pumped you up so much that your output should have increased another 5%. Who knows what you could have done if you have done an "outstanding" job that day.

Or maybe a few more motivational exclamation points.

Kim said...

I broke this blogging rule recently too. I have a feeling I'll break it more in the near future.

I'm in the same boat as you. And it sucks. Big time.

Emily said...

Woah, is that email for reals? People actually talk to other educated people like that? I don't even get talked to like that at my waitressing job. Which, by the way, is not going well. Check out my blog.