Thursday, December 17, 2009

Mystery Box

No, not MY mystery box, you sick perves!
(and lets be honest, 4 years of college experimentation took ALL the mystery out of THAT box, if yanno what I'm sayin')*

*I don't know what I'm saying

Anygirlsgonewild, yesterday, a box arrived at our doorstep.
That, in itself, isn't unusual. After all, it IS Christmas-time.

What was unusual about this box, after I took it inside and attempted to determine whether it might be one of my christmas gifts by shaking it vigorously, was the address:




In case you're having a hard time reading it, it was addressed to
JERICHO OR THE [INSERT LAST NAME HERE for those of you who didn't already figure it out when I stupidly posted my wedding invitation on this blog a few months ago] NOT SKITTLES.

Needless to say, I was perplexed. A package that is addressed to either my dog or both me and my husband, but not my cat?

What?!?

So I opened it.

And this is what was inside:

And I was all, "Ooh, look, a bonsai tree!" And Brian was all, "No, stupid it's a grape vine."
And he was right! It WAS a grapevine.
...which makes sense, in that Jericho is a highly sophisticated man who appreciates a good Chianti now and again, and Skittles is a manic, homicidal cat who likes to eat anything of the plant variety, even while knowing full well that she will throw it up (on my shoes) later.
Knowing that Brian and I are experienced and budding wine connoisseurs, respectively, my brother-in-law and his girlfriend got us a grape vine from California.
...in other words, the coolest gift EVER.
Now, I just need a name for him.
Any sueggstions?

9 comments:

The Trout Underground said...

How about Milo's Next Meal?

Mr. Apron said...

I like, "No, Stupid."

Short, sweet, and you'll always remember how you learned what it was.

And you can amuse yourself and Brian by announcing, "Honey, I'm going to go water No, Stupid, okay?"

adrienzgirl said...

I totally think you should name it Bonsai!

Tux said...

How do you know it is a male plant?
How about Merlot or something?

phairhead said...

call it Miles.

i guess i'm stupid too. I also thought it was a bonzai tree at
1st glance

PorkStar said...

I can't get the first 3 lines of your post out of my head... on purpose

Ed said...

How about Seymour.

Then, when it produces grapes, you can say, "Feed Me, Seymour!"

Kim said...

Chester. Definitely Chester.

Emily said...

FUCKING HILARIOUS. I laughed out loud and scared Yukes. Now THAT's a Christmas gift!