Here’s something new, I actually have plans to go out tonight. Praise God almighty! Can I get a Hallelujah?!?
Granted, it’s with my mom, but don’t let that fool you – she’s a pretty fabulous lady who shares a penchant for talking like a sailor and giving high-fives, so it’s always a good time. Plus, she’s financing tonight’s activities, so really it’s a win-win situation: she gets the pleasure of my company, and I get to actually DO something on a Friday night other than have a pretend wedding for Jericho and Skittles again (kidding).
I know that some of you are thinking about that post I wrote about wiping my own ass and imagining me attending a classy ballet performance and raising your eyebrows dubiously but never fear, I can blend in with snobby, rich, and/or cultured people like you wouldn’t believe. That’s what happens when your parents start dragging your ass to operas and classical music concerts when you’re 5 years old; I may be a crass, loud, somewhat violent individual most of the time, but slap some nice clothes on me and put me in a performance hall, and you’d never know I wasn’t raised in Martha’s Vinyard. Yeah, I’m a woman of many talents, a lady on the streets but a freak in the sheets, if you will.
Ooohhh…that was definitely at TMI moment.
Awkward.
Also, as unlikely as it sounds, I was actually into ballet for a significant period of time in my childhood. Like, REALLY into it. I think I went to dance class at least 2 times a week for several years, maybe more. This was all before my horseback riding days when I realized that being outside and getting dirty and risking life and limb was the shit. So, while I haven’t danced in, oh, 17 years (god, that makes me feel old), I still have an appreciation for the art-form. I’m not even sure why I stopped, because I never really lost interest, but I think it had something to do with my dance studio closing down for the Christmas break and never reopening. I think they, like, up and moved to Arizona in the middle of the night or something. Shady.
So, tonight’s itinerary will likely include the three D’s: Drinks, Dinner, and Dancing. Only dinner and drinks will be with my mom (not very romantic), and the dancing will be left to the professionals, which is probably best for all parties concerned, because my mom dances like Elaine from Seinfeld and I dance like a stripper minus the pole. Weddings are uncomfortable, to say the least. But I guess that’s a whole other post now isn’t it?
UPDATE:
My mom just called and had to cancel because she just realized that it's her and her fiancee's anniversary. Yeah...now you know where I get my crappy memory from. Mom, that's kind of important, dontcha think?!? But the tickets are bought and non-refundible. Anyone wanna go to the ballet tonight?!?
Granted, it’s with my mom, but don’t let that fool you – she’s a pretty fabulous lady who shares a penchant for talking like a sailor and giving high-fives, so it’s always a good time. Plus, she’s financing tonight’s activities, so really it’s a win-win situation: she gets the pleasure of my company, and I get to actually DO something on a Friday night other than have a pretend wedding for Jericho and Skittles again (kidding).
I know that some of you are thinking about that post I wrote about wiping my own ass and imagining me attending a classy ballet performance and raising your eyebrows dubiously but never fear, I can blend in with snobby, rich, and/or cultured people like you wouldn’t believe. That’s what happens when your parents start dragging your ass to operas and classical music concerts when you’re 5 years old; I may be a crass, loud, somewhat violent individual most of the time, but slap some nice clothes on me and put me in a performance hall, and you’d never know I wasn’t raised in Martha’s Vinyard. Yeah, I’m a woman of many talents, a lady on the streets but a freak in the sheets, if you will.
Ooohhh…that was definitely at TMI moment.
Awkward.
Also, as unlikely as it sounds, I was actually into ballet for a significant period of time in my childhood. Like, REALLY into it. I think I went to dance class at least 2 times a week for several years, maybe more. This was all before my horseback riding days when I realized that being outside and getting dirty and risking life and limb was the shit. So, while I haven’t danced in, oh, 17 years (god, that makes me feel old), I still have an appreciation for the art-form. I’m not even sure why I stopped, because I never really lost interest, but I think it had something to do with my dance studio closing down for the Christmas break and never reopening. I think they, like, up and moved to Arizona in the middle of the night or something. Shady.
So, tonight’s itinerary will likely include the three D’s: Drinks, Dinner, and Dancing. Only dinner and drinks will be with my mom (not very romantic), and the dancing will be left to the professionals, which is probably best for all parties concerned, because my mom dances like Elaine from Seinfeld and I dance like a stripper minus the pole. Weddings are uncomfortable, to say the least. But I guess that’s a whole other post now isn’t it?
UPDATE:
My mom just called and had to cancel because she just realized that it's her and her fiancee's anniversary. Yeah...now you know where I get my crappy memory from. Mom, that's kind of important, dontcha think?!? But the tickets are bought and non-refundible. Anyone wanna go to the ballet tonight?!?
MORE UPDATE:
Thanks to my friend Carrie for digging up this stupendous picture of my mom and I getting down with our bad selves during her wedding in 2007. My mom is the crazy-haired lady on the bottom left, and I'm the longer-but-equally-crazy-haired maniac on the bottom right.
ACTION SHOT!!!
And I love how our friend Katie is standing behind me looking terrified. My mom and I tend to do that to people. Never doubt that my mom and I (plus a little al-kee-hol) are a rockin' good time. NEVER!
2 comments:
http://tinyurl.com/lil-momdancing
Awesome pic! I had to update my blog with it. Hope you don't mind
Post a Comment